A few days ago I felt lonely. Friends all busy and such, as I should be. Usually that isn't a problem for me, I just occupy myself with any projects or independent research. But that day I just had no idea of what to do, it was pretty horrible. I cried a little too, but a few hours later I felt fine. Perhaps it was too much sugar or something I ate.
I was also thinking the previous day of maybe going to the LGBT community center in the city to just meet some new people. People who I could relate to in terms of common struggles and LGBT political issues. I wasn't sure of if I should go or not. For some reason I felt like I'd be too out of place, I usually had that problem fitting in anywhere.
I then decided maybe going to gay bar would be better, I have no fucking idea why I thought that might be better. So I quickly went over every horrible scenario that I hear about bars and decided I'd do myself good to stay in one place where I feel safe, home. I wasn't happy about it but I figured it was for the best.
It's much better than going to bar and being called a tease or something awful like that. Or being hit on and not knowing it, and apparently I can unknowingly lead someone on. Here I'll make the reference of bad crush. Yeah, apparently I lead him on unknowingly. I just wanted to make a friend, but it didn't turn out that way. So I'm a tease? :\
Granted bars probably aren't what they're made out to be. But now typing this out I've got the insane idea of observing what bars are like. Perhaps I could study the various bars around my city, maybe I'll even find one that suits me. Of course that may take weeks, if not months and it's far too time consuming now that I think about it.
Then there are so many that open late in the day, which is to be expected. Nothing but headaches on that one. At this point I'm going to consider the LGBT community center again, it's likely the more legitimate place to meet people. lol