I am tired, friends. Terribly tired. My whole body aches with fury for no real reason. I'm shaking. I want him so fucking badly. Why can't I fucking have him? I want it all so terribly badly. Everything. Sometimes it seems like I can take it for myself but I can't, I can't, it's always just so far away, always so close, but never close enough. I want it, I want it! I want it all. All my desires, all of them, they are always just out of reach. Sometimes with enough work I can get my hands on something. Sometimes it's a someone. Ah, I pride myself on my skill at getting who I want to have. Sometimes they're out of my reach at first, but that makes it so much better when they become mine. Please, though, don't think that it's just conquest. I have no desire to simply take and throw away; no, not usually. Perhaps occasionally I enjoy a brief fling, but who doesn't enjoy a good night's fuck? No, the people I truly desire are the people whom I desire to connect with on a deeper level; the people for whom I would give my body and soul. I am no shallow Casanova (although the connotations of that title do little justice to the man himself); I do not lust merely after a pretty face. That's not who I am, please, give me more credit than that! I want connection! I want love! Surely it's not wrong to want more. It's not wrong to want everything you can get. It's not. It really isn't. I just want it all. I just want to have everything. Good night.