At the advice of lonewolf, I tried writing fiction.

anarchist's picture

the BEAST
wandering
the empty abyss
crushing the skulls of its ancestors
the DEAD remnants
the only memories
destroying the past
severing pieces of its flesh
so it can continue
its search
the MINOTAUR of the infinite
parallel expanses
scraping
at the bones of TIME
its madness fueled
by the
eternal
echoes
as the walls of this DEATH CHAMBER
this birth tomb
are cut down
the
infinite
black
the emptiness
offers no understanding
no end
the dead march cannot be severed from existence
time has lost meaning
the indestructible abomination
the golem of pain
imprisoned by its malice
its insanity
forever mutilating what remains
of mortality
lacerating the signs of HUMANITY
that still cling to its form
deafened by its
rancorous screams
as it thrashes endlessly
and blindly
at the indestructible
beating on the dead
walkways
blind and suffering
forced
without escape
to spend its existence
in search
of what cannot be seen
by the eyes
of DESTRUCTION

Comments

anarchist's picture

It's a metaphor for us.

It was inspired by nature.

Also, I've been listening to Sunn O))) while reading house of leaves.

So that might have something to do with it.

elph's picture

I'd wish it weren't quite so dark!

A good start... however,

I "think" you are very capable of writing on more uplifting thoughts and experiences. Concentrating on the beauties of life and nature would be far better for you (and, also, for me).

Trying to develop the persona (i.e., facade) of a maverick is totally unnecessary.

Let your "real self" out... I am confident that you have absolutely nothing to feel embarrassed about.

anarchist's picture

I wasn't trying to be a "maverick".

I was just feeling inspired by Sunn O)))'s vibrations and lyrics. I was also thinking about how self-destructive and negligent humanity is, so I decided to let it out. There isn't really any beauty in my mind right now, as bored as I am.

elph's picture

Yes...

You've made that point: bored!

I am truly sympathetic... but dwelling on being bored is counterproductive!

I sympathize with how you feel about the many negatives that you see in humanity... I see them also (they maybe not be the same ones...), but not having workable solutions at hand, it's far better for one to try his/her best to just coexist. This should not contribute to any loss of self-respect! :)

Helping others to get over this hurdle (rather than commenting to them on how many faults exist within mankind) can be a very uplifting experience. Try it; it works!

I think you deserve having that feeling... daily!

jeff's picture

Hmm...

---
"You don't know you're beautiful." - Harry Styles

anarchist's picture

But I am bored.

So what does that make me? Apparently an impossibility according to that logic.

Exploring my endless mind is fun, but it's hard finding ways to do so. This is the origin of boredom. Everything I do is just a tool to find out more about my mind, that's the entire nature of life and the universe. But there's a limited amount of activities that can allow me to do this to an extent that is interesting and worthwhile.

I'm not alive, anyway. Life isn't real. It's just a bunch of molecules reproducing and moving in a way that creates electrical charges and movements of larger compound objects. Even free will is false; it's just certain electrons and chemicals moving in a way that makes other linked molecular structures move. It isn't amazing, it's an odd coincidence that was bound to happen due to the infiniteness of the universe.

jeff's picture

But...

Bored is a state of mind, not a real thing. You've elevated all of the things that you can't be doing to a higher level than all of the things you can, and seemingly choose to fixate on how much better things would be if you were doing the things you aren't doing, and then reinforce how bad your existence without those things is by ensuring you do nothing to put that perception in jeopardy, such as doing something interesting, watching movies, a documentary, finishing the book you're reading, or anything else. If you came up with an imaginary itinerary for if you ever visiting Shanghai, it would be of more use than saying you're bored.

It's like people who claim to have writer's block, but they really only lack an ability to write exactly what they think they should write in the 15 minutes they decided they want to write it, and instead of writing anything else, they elevate the "block" and prove its existence by not writing anything else.

If you want to romanticize and wallow in what you can't change, you're certainly free to do so. Between movies, novels, writing, standup comedy, music, and theater, I can't imagine ever being bored. Of course, the older you get, you're more apt to be bored with the time spent at work that you can't control, so that when those hours end, you typically know what you want to do now that you're on your own time.

But even that is invented and uselessly reinforced to prove a point, which only makes that time seem longer.

---
"You don't know you're beautiful." - Harry Styles

anarchist's picture

As long as you're running the web site,

I'd rather see it get taken down than left up. You're supposed to be understanding to other people's problems, but instead you're the opposite. You see anything you can't relate to and you try to destroy it. You're just as close-minded as all the other idiots out there. Please, either leave the web site or take it down entirely. You were wrong to name this place Oasis in the first place. It's just another part of the desert.

jeff's picture

Heh...

I tried to destroy your boredom? How awful of me...

I'll just put you on the list of journals to ignore, since you seem to be unable to read my replies with the proper intention, and only see them as an attack.

I do think the site will disappear this year, so you'll be without it soon enough.

---
"You don't know you're beautiful." - Harry Styles

anarchist's picture

Thank you.

I'm glad you were cooperative.

anarchist's picture

I'M DONE.

The weekend has been extended to TEN FUCKING DAYS. What the fuck, Mike? Seriously. I'm lonely here. Nobody's visiting me.

I didn't get an email reply. I'm lonely. Being around my family who I can't talk about this stuff to is making me feel even lonelier. Someone make me feel better.

lonewolf678's picture

You didn't try,

you did! I actually liked it, it is very rare that I like a piece of fiction or poetry.

anarchist's picture

Wow, I wasn't expecting it to be this well-liked.

You may want to check out these songs if you like this kind of atmosphere:

I wouldn't blame you if you'd rather just read the lyrics instead. The point is they're dark.