I'll vent my problems to you, friends

anarchist's picture

The man must have seen that I was having fun in PE, moving around and talking to you-know-who. So he decided to move me to the opposite end of the school from him and make me sit the whole period in a fucking boring, pointless class that only does the opposite of what it supposedly exists to do. How fun.

I only got about a minute or two of pseudo-conversation with him, but it was really awkward because he was with like two or three other people, so there wasn't really space for real conversing. I wanted to discuss future plans, but I couldn't resist just talking about a couple of fun things instead because I enjoy talking to people (well, person) who actually like me. Too bad I'm not allowed to.

I just don't know what to do now. I guess I'm just not getting regular conversation times for the rest of the school year, possibly for all eternity if we have no classes together next year. It'll be another one of those nice friendships that got cut off forever at the worst time. That's all my life's been.


anarchist's picture

I just feel so destroyed by this.

The only person who actually seemed excited to talk to me is gone now. That's what I get for talking to people and getting attached. I thought I've learned my lesson by now, but apparently not.

anarchist's picture


This website was going well for a few weeks. Where did that all suddenly go? There hasn't been any activity since Friday. This place is usually slow on weekdays, but not a single post happened.

Seriously, I'm afraid of tomorrow. I don't know what I'll do. I don't want to just have really small, awkward conversations when he's with a bunch of other people, but I also don't want another friendship to disappear, and I can't just opt out or delay the decision for a day or anything. It would be nice to be able to organize something via email, but again, it appears that that won't work.

Brady's picture

It's hard for me to get on here sometimes

but I'm committed to keep writing on here, and I read everything posted each day.

I'm sure there's a solution, and we can't just give up!!!


elph's picture

Who was "The Man?"

And... what justification did he have to rearrange your schedule?

You'll have to find some social activity (not necessarily formal) that the two of you can share outside of school time.

I readily understand how intense your desire to communicate with your friend is. I only hope that that feeling is mutually shared.

anarchist's picture

I already know a possible activity.

He said that he'd like to try learning to play guitar. I know how to play songs from a couple of his favorite bands on guitar (Radiohead and Nirvana). Perfect.

But I can't get enough conversation time to organize anything, and his email responses are flaky and unpredictable.

Oh, and my schedule was changed because in my school, PE and health classes are only one semester each. They're two separate classes that do stuff together in PE, and are completely separate in health. Therefore, we no longer share classes. Also, I no longer have any physical activities to wake me up and raise my spirits in the morning, so I'm just in a significantly worse mood all day now.

lonewolf678's picture


The fun police? Man that's pretty soul-crushing, but don't let it get you down! You're strong, you find a way when you want something bad enough!

anarchist's picture

I'll post more in this comment.

I don't want to litter da O place with journal entries with my boring rambling that would bore the majority of people here.

For the purposes of this place, I'll call him Gman (after a Merzbow song). That isn't what his name begins with, but I don't feel comfortable using his real name in public. Plus, he's more knowledgeable of the Internet than most people I talk about here (including myself), so—even though I've revealed more than enough information for him to know who I'm talking about—I still don't want to use any definite key words that could give anything away to people I know IRL

Anyway, long story short, I didn't talk to tha Gman today. I walked by him out by the busses, but he was in conversation with someone else, so I decided not to interrupt. I have noticed something, though.

I see him holding hands with this girl a lot in the hall, but I don't think I've ever seen him talking to her; he's always just looking forward with a blank expression (which he tends to do with most people). They appear to be in some sort of relationship, the way they walk together so closely, but he's never mentioned anything about her to me. We've had a ton of conversations, and have known one another for over a year. He's told me about kayaking buddies he has from New York, and a bunch of random friends, but never once mentioned this person. So that's just a notable and strange observation.

Also, I take pleasure in the fact that, while he's normally a considerably quiet person, he sometimes talks without stop for long periods of time in conversations we've shared. If I have something to be proud of, it's that. (Also, he'd always break off any conversation he was having with other people in the locker room whenever I entered the room. We'd also end up getting close to each other in sports matches, whether by intent or not, and we've made physical contact as a result countless times. These are nice things to reflect on.)