Is a tattoo really just a tattoo?

DarkestValley's picture

So I went to Bali on a holiday with my boyfriend and his family. On the first day I was pissed off at him because I just kept thinking that somewhere on the small and tiny island that was only a few minutes away from me had slept with jake.

In any case day 2 arrived, which lead to me having severe food poisoning where I vomited and had diarrhea for a whole four days. Once my sickness had subsided I had a lovely day which was spent swimming in the ocean and shopping however the next day I was bitten by a savage dog and had to get 9 injections across the rest of the week which was of rabbies, tetinus and immunoglobulin.

Jake decided to get a dragon tattoo on his whole leg, and because of this and the fact I was feeling extreme nausea from the medication I decided to leave and I caught a plane early and came home. Do you think it's a ridiculous reason to break up with someone because of a tattoo? I haven't even seen the tattoo yet but the thought of it makes me ill. To me it means more than a tattoo, it represents rebellion. I think, because of his drug dealing and therefore is other misdemeanor of qualities such as stealing, I have overlooked them because of his caring and sweet nature for example he would clean my wound everyday from my dog bite and never left my side at the hospital. He is the most sweet and caring man I have ever come to known and it's because of this I have continued to love him and stay with him. I pictured us old and frail together, him tending to his garden (as he likes to garden) and me by his side. But to get such a horrific tattoo which clearly represents a sense of resilience and defiance which will be on him for the rest of his life, distorts this picture of us and ultimately means he will be defiant and resilient for the rest of his life to whatever the cause whether it be the law or something else.

All of this time, I have slowly let my morals and values slide whilst keeping my chastity intact, but I think this has finally given me the realization I needed, that whilst you may get along with your partner just fine, morals and values are an important issue in a relationship and cannot be overlooked.

I am happy with Jake and without him I will be half a person, but I must sacrifice this happiness to find a greater happiness capable of sharing my values.

Comments

elph's picture

I've never understood the desire for tattoos!

It's clearly advertising... of sorts. But I feel bad that anyone feels it's necessary to make the statement... whatever it may mean!

Sorry!

radiosilence95's picture

If he's sweet and caring, if

If he's sweet and caring, if you've been able to work through the lying and the drug dealing, why is it that a tattoo is the thing that will destroy your relationship, of all things? In my opinion, it's his body, his decision. Like I'm probably going to get a symbol on my ankle around my birthday hopefully. I'm going to tell my girlfriend I'm getting it of course, but I'm not looking for her permission, because it's my own body.

I mean, I can somewhat understand where you're coming from, since it sounds like a pretty large tattoo, but what can you really do about it? Tell him to get it removed? He's not gonna do that most likely. So, I think it best to just look past it.

DarkestValley's picture

It's rather ironic. I've

It's rather ironic. I've been able to work past the lying, the stealing and the drug dealing but the thing that tears everything apart is a tattoo. At the depths of his soul, he will always be entwined with rebellion and that is reflective upon his skin forever. I've made up my mind, 100%, I need to let go.

jeff's picture

Well...

I don't personally desire a tattoo, but were I to find myself with someone with a tattoo, I'd accept that as part of who they are. It would defy logic to want to be with someone without their tattoo, if they see that as something intrinsically part of them, since that would mean you wanted to be with a version of someone counter to their reality...

So, I wouldn't see it as a reason to not be with Jake on its own, or that someone with a tattoo is less desirable... but moreso that you were compiling a list of reasons to not be with him, and the tattoo is the proverbial straw that broke you desire's back.

Perhaps it clarified all of the things you thought might change, such as his drug dealing, etc., and sort of made you realize none of that was likely to change...

It's certainly not about the tattoo itself.

---
"You don't know you're beautiful." - Harry Styles

DarkestValley's picture

I think you are spot on.

I think you are spot on. It's more than just the tattoo. And I need to move on now.