I wrote previously mentioned chatting with a gay teen that lives near me, and this time I'm going to write about Luke, and what it's like to have a secret boyfriend.
Last spring I was online in a chat room when I got a message from a another teen named Luke, and he told me that he wanted to talk to me some more because I was the only person there that seemed "real". It was big compliment to me and I was ready to get out of that room anyway. What also got my attention was where Luke was from, a city that was less than an hour from me. My fake profile had me several hundred miles away in another state.
We started chatting, and I decided to be honest with him no matter what. We had some things in common, his dad split on his mom and wasn't a part of his life anymore, and he too was attracted to a boy he knew that he had no chance with. There was this instant connection, and I liked how he didn't ask me the typical questions, like how big my dick was.
We would try to chat on a regular basis, and when we couldn't we exchanged e-mails. The more we talked the more it bothered me that he was so close, but I was afraid of how he would react if I told him the truth. He would talk about the mall and the Target he would go to on a regular basis, the same places that I went to at least a few times a month.
One night he told me about a incident at his high school that had made the evening news, and he was one of the students interviewed. I Googled it and found a link to the video and there he was...he was just totally handsome! Luke had told me he was a blue eyed blonde, but he didn't tell me that he was overweight and wore nerdy black glasses, or that he had braces. He was physically like Tanner, and that night I froze a frame of the video and made good use of it.
I was in love with him, but I couldn't tell anyone. He was all I could think about, but it wasn't like being madly attracted to a girl where I could brag about it. That hurt more than anything, to have to hide my true feelings and have a secret I couldn't share. A secret boyfriend.
I took a shirtless pic with my phone and attached it to a e-mail, where all I wrote was "Hey handsome, this is me!" and I gave him my cell number, with instructions to text me.
The next day I got text back from him asking if I was disappointed with how he looked, and I told him how handsome I thought he was, and that we had to meet.
A few weeks later we finally had a chance to meet, but I'm going to write about that in another journal.