Uncertain's picture

我決定現在開始我要練習我的中文. 自從我爸媽回去台灣之後我就沒有說多少中文了. 一開始這還算沒問題, 反而我還覺得這事件好事 - 但是後來我才發現中文不只很有用, 如果我不好好加強我其實是失去了一部份的"我". 我每天會用中文寫一段短文, 順便也可以利用這個機會來寫日記.

Today I realised I had done the stupidest thing. I had tried to sync my drive and then cleared by drive to free up capacity. However, after deleting those files permanently, I realised I had only copied links over. So now I have lost those files forever.

我的男朋友對我還不錯. 可是他有時候真的事會讓我生氣. 說實話其實我們兩個太不一樣了. 他和我在人生中兩個完全不同的階段. 他很貼心但很愛玩, 而我現在變得很嚴肅, 我一直在想我畢業後到底要做什麼.

I might be moving to Sydney when I finish my degree. This year is going to be a busy year. I'm doing a full year of law electives, and despite taking the maximum allowed points per semester I still don't think I will finish on time. I still have two papers to finish in 2015.

我現在才發現我去年實在是太忙了. 我不只是太忙重點是我沒有好好照顧自己或投資精力在我的前途上. 我看到我的朋友們全部都開始有好工作了可是我現在卻還在讀書.

Should I do honours? Should I find a job? Should I do both? I've saved quite a bit of money over the summer - that could be my kickstart fund if I wanted to do a postgraduate degree - but is it worth it?

我今年要好好讀書, 照顧好自己. 我應該也要戒菸, 少喝酒, 多運動. 還有, 我四月要回去看我的父母親和我的弟弟. 我的弟弟不好好讀書我媽媽幾天前還被他氣哭了. 怎麼辦. 我也不知道.

I am so conflicted. There are so many things I want to do and learn in this world. At the same time I've realised I am doing too much and I am becoming quite unwell mentally and physically. I feel really down most of the time. My boyfriend does a good job trying to cheer me up - but I really cannot keep up with his lifestyle. I've realised I'm an introvert that learnt how to pretend to be an extrovert, I have an innate desire to withdraw from people.

我明天要申請幾份工作. 錢真的很重要, 但是我做這麼多我覺得我是不是瘋了? 有時我覺得就只有我一個人.


elph's picture

I think I know what you experienced...

when you realized that you had only the links! I very much hope that truly important documents were not lost (e.g., papers yet to be presented).

Not sure if there's a Sydney in NZ... but assuming you meant Australia?

You described very succinctly your suspected introvert/extrovert nature. I don't know the solution... or whether a solution is required. This, however, does seem to be a very common syndrome amongst exceptionally intelligent gays.

Let's see...

jeff's picture


It seems like you aren't sure what you want to do with your life, which therefore makes preparation/planning difficult. It is hard to decide between more schooling or joining the workforce without settling what it is you want to do with your life right now. Not what you want 20 years from now, just right now. Solve that, and that will help sort out whether you need more college, more experience, etc. Just reign it in from what you want to do with your life to what you want to do with your life right now.

You'll already have the law degree settled, so that's a pretty excellent building block for anything else, or you're a lawyer. ;-)

You'll sort it out, I'm sure...

"You don't know you're beautiful." - Harry Styles

hellonwheels's picture

I have been reading about and learning about the whole

introvert/extrovert thing recently, and I have come to the conclusion of a friend of mine dude, coining the term ambivert for people like me who fall between the lines. But anyway, it is good to hear from you and see you post on here again max. Do it, move to Sydney. I hope to visit there someday soon, but in talking to friends, it truly is an awesome place.

Hope 2014 is finding you in better spirits and health...you sound a ton better than me. My diabetes is all outta whack, and they put me on blood pressure meds, so that isn't good either

Mental wounds not healing, driving me insane, i'm goin' off the rails on a crazy train- the ozzman

jeff's picture


Why would anyone need a term for being in between introvert and extrovert? Wouldn't that mean you had a good balance?!

"You don't know you're beautiful." - Harry Styles