More hapiness

anarchist's picture

Since ykw couldn't really sit with his ex girlfriend at lunch today, he, without much effort, convinced me to skip the period and sit across from him. So today was the first time we spent over a half hour together all year. And it was nice. I got to have about 50 minutes of admiration, and we had a great time, which made me happy.

The only thing that happened last weekend was getting ripped off on an Aphex Twin bootleg for $25. I shouldn't have trusted a business to actually be trustworthy, especially with a musician nobody in the US even knows any more.

Oh, and my parents are getting a divorce, which isn't a surprise at all. I've seen it coming for many years.


anarchist's picture

I did the same thing today.

But he just paid more attention to his friend the whole time, and it made me jealous. He is also biking a local trail with him (for the second time in the past week), so I feel kind of left out. I'll try not to let that bother me.

anarchist's picture

Okay, I just feel fucking awful now.

I don't even know why. For some reason I feel like ykw doesn't even like me anymore just because he paid more attention to someone else and is out doing stuff with him. It doesn't make sense for me to feel like this, but I just get really paranoid of people not liking me all the time. I know he and I are friends, but today has just been kind of weird. We usually meet at this one spot every day, and for the past two days he hasn't been there, which kind of worries me. I don't know if it was my timing or what, but it doesn't seem right to assume he's avoiding me. But that's where my thoughts go automatically, because I always suspect people of secretly hating me for no reason, and no amount of reason can ever truly make these thoughts go away until I talk to them again. Even after all the evidence I have of ykh genuinely enjoying my company (whether platonically or not), I still suspect that he's started disliking me overnight for no reason. It's at the point that I'm afraid of thinking about school tomorrow because I don't want any of this to happen again. I wish this would just go away.