For my two friends, I would've liked at least one call back, at least one message. The least any of you could do for me was that. At least give me that, I never asked, but maybe I should have. I give and give, sometimes there isn't a thank you and that's ok. I look past that because you're a friend of mine.
Danny (not a real name), I know you've got stuff going on. But the truth is you don't schedule anything, what the fuck? If something comes up, it comes up? So if I showed up at your place then you'd invite me in and play video games by that logic. It isn't even logical, the last time we spent time together was in November.
I know we spend most of the time playing video games when we do meetup. We both seem to have lots of fun together, I wonder if you miss that too, I don't know. Maybe you want to reach out and you really do have some serious stuff, but all I ask are four hours and that'll be fine. I treasure any amount of time I have with any of my friends.
Natan (also not a real name), yes we've messaged back each other. And you have some stuff to get together. I realize that and I've given you space. I wish you would've invited me to your place on Valentine's day, I think it would've helped you to have a person your own age to talk to and just have fun around.
But you assured me that spending the rest of the day in your room alone vegetating was the best option. So at least when I called you on the 6th, the least you could've done was call me back and say you were busy. I would've taken that, but I felt ignored, and I never ignored your messages.
I don't know if I gave you the wrong signals, maybe I made bedroom eyes at you at some point a few months ago, I don't know lol. That's why I really tried to get that gay thing cleared up and you said that it was ok. And that you had plenty of gay friends. There's no real point to any of this, I guess it's just me getting my loneliness out.
I do feel better though, I suppose venting does help sometimes.