I was really annoyed at my boyfriend, A, last night because I was hoping he would come over and we would have a relatively early night. Instead, he was in town for ages and kept stalling and I had to stay up until half past three until he finally got home. I told him I was a annoyed but I couldn't be angry with him. It's nice seeing him and hanging out with him but sometimes he just goes out way too much. I just can't keep up with going out more than twice every week (no exagerration), and it's really taking a toll on my sleep and studies, as well as the quality of the time I spend with him.
On another note, there has been this other guy, J, who has been talking to me on Facebook. He added me about two weeks ago and has been messaging me every day, telling me about his day etc. To be honest I have no idea how he knew me and when I confronted him about it he said he has seen me around university (from a number of club activities I do around campus). He'll talk about and send me photos of banal things that he's doing like his food, and when he went fishing and who he's hanging out etc. I think it's quite clear he likes me. I don't really feel the same way towards him, but I do like the attention. He has offered to buy me coffee but we haven't actually met yet. The logic in my brain goes, I will have coffee with him, and tell him I have a boyfriend when it comes up. Is that cruel? To be fair, he could just be extremely friendly. Last night I asked whether he was gay/bi because that was clearly the elephant in the room and he said "to be honest I'm not sure". So I think he might be discovering his sexuality and just ended up having a crush on me.
I'm also having a massive freak out about what to do when I graduate. I have wasted three years of my life not working hard and hoping something would just fall in place. To be honest I'm quite depressed about it all. I've decided I'm going to start going to my classes and take on less extracurricular acitivites. I've just planned all the things I must do in my diary, and to be honest even thinking about it makes me quite sick.
Also, my brother is being a brat in Taiwan and my mother and father and calling me quite frequently about it. This is also very distressing to me. There are also some issues I don't want to write about regarding my mother's health (and other collateral issues arising from so), and that's been on my mind.
All my friends have either graduated, or doing amazing things. I thought I would be one of them, but I guess I've wasted my life away.