I've had lots of friends sleep over at my place, but mostly it's been my best friend and neighbor Tommy, and when he stays the night it's more of us being goofy together than sleeping.
Having my first boyfriend spend the night? Wow, I was so nervous.
Colin came over around 8 last Saturday night and I introduced him to my mother, who asked him a lot of questions. Actually, it was weird because my parents never really do that when I have a friend over, but this time she did.
My father asked Colin if had dinner, and when he said yes he offered him dessert, which ended up being chocolate fudge cake with ice cream. I was good and gave us a major sugar rush!
When we finished dessert, Colin and I went to my bedroom above the garage, which was a small studio apartment the previous owners had rented out. Colin couldn't believe I lived in it, and it's different from my friend's bedrooms.
In my bedroom I have a love seat that converts to my bed, and Colin and I sat on it and there was this weird silence between us...it was like we didn't know what to do next?
We started talking about the debate, and how we felt that we should have at least placed, but Colin said that if I had placed then there would have been more attention drawn to what I said, and how would I feel about that? I didn't tell him that I thought my father knew I was gay, and really I should have.
We talked for a while about school stuff, then Colin asked me how long I'd known I was gay. I told him for a while, not really mentioning any of the stuff I'd done with other guys. He told me just for a few months, that one day he woke up and couldn't stop thinking about me.
I didn't know what to say or how to answer him?
He told me when I read my speech to the class about gay athletes, he thought I was giving a confessional, and the more he thought about what I had said the more he thought I had to be gay. He also told me he was still a bit surprised about me, and I then told him that I think my parents knew, or at least suspected it?
Colin told me the questions my mother asked were what she would ask a girlfriend the first time I brought her over, and I realized how right he was. She never interrogated my friends like that, but Colin was different.
My boyfriend. That has a great but slightly scary ring to it.
It was getting late, and both of us were tired, and I asked Colin if he wanted to go to bed? He just shook his head, and went into the bathroom to brush his teeth while I unfolded the love seat and made the bed, the it was my turn for the bathroom.
When I came out Colin was sitting on the edge of the bed still dressed, and I kneeled down and took off his shoes and socks, then had him stand up and I took his shirt off, and I saw the scars on his chest from the different operations he had, one of them I think was from a feeding tube. I didn't say anything about the scars, I just couldn't.
I kicked my shoes off, and slid off my socks with my toes, a skill I picked up from getting ready for swimming. Colin slid my shirt off and touched my shoulders, kissed me, and then gave me a real tight hug. It was what I had been waiting to do, and our bodies showed our excitement. I think you know what I mean?
I went to undo the belt on his cargo shorts and he tensed up, and he started shaking when I went to undo the top button. I stopped, turned out the light and told him we didn't have to do anything, and he said okay. There was a little bit of a glow in the room from the driveway light, enough for me to see his undies and for him to see me in mine.
We slid under the covers and were right next to each other, and Colin turned over and was chest down, his face away from me. I slid my hands slowly up and down his back, and the next thing I knew it was morning.
I got up first, and Colin was on his back, and I lifted up the blanket to look at his stuff. His is smaller than mine, and as I set the blanket down he asked me if I liked what I saw? He then lifted up the blanket and told me he really likes what he was seeing. I put my hand on his chest right above the waistband of his undies and he tensed up again, so I rubbed his belly real slow.
He looked at me and told me he wanted to, he really wanted to but he wasn't ready yet, and he asked me not to be mad.
I promised him that I wasn't, and I really meant it. He told me it would be worth the wait, and I believe him.
So this is what being in love is like?
I like it!