For some reason Joy Division is the only thing I can listen to that won't just make me feel worse, and will actually help me forget a bit. It doesn't remind me ov you know who, anyway, so that's nice. So there's my explanation of this title
I've obviously been pretty lonely. The weekend made me feel pretty good (at least compared to last week), and then I remembered that I can't talk to him any more, so I got sad. And being trapped in a single room for test experiments for 140 minutes ov the day didn't help. So I only saw him once, for maybe a second, and looked away because it was pointless paying attention to someone I can't talk to because he doesn't care about anyone other than himself and his girlfriend. So I just don't know what I'll do, when we had so much planned and now he just doesn't care. That asshole still has my guitar.
And I can't figure out why so much has changed. He used to care about me more than I care about him. That's the only reason I actually grew fond of him; because he payed attention to me more than anyone else did, and eagerly started conversations every day, and now he's just completely indifferent except for when I catch a rare opportunity to find him when he isn't talking to his girlfriend or going to her. Which happens pretty much never.