House of Leaves is getting me through my three-hour driving classes and my bed, Have A Nice Life, and more House of Leaves are getting me through the rest of life. I still haven't heard from yk, so I'm going to go ask him in person what's up, or at least whoever's at his house. I told my father, and he seems fine with bringing me to his house, since it's pretty close to where we live. I just want to see him again, or at least hear his voice. I need to know that he's still real and still the same person I saw two weeks ago.
I dreamt of finally meeting yk, and having an unforgettably wonderful time with him; it was the happiest I had been all summer. Unfortunately, I then awoke to the realization that his silence actually is real, a fact that I still don't understand at all. That wasn't the first time I'd had a dream like this, and I hate it every time I do, because it feels so real, much more so than any other dreams I have. It all feels so wasted when I wake up and figure out that it wasn't genuine. It seemed so real that I almost believe it was a telepathic connection. Or at least I hope it was. This morning proceeded the way nearly every other morning this summer had: me lying in bed until about 4PM, then only showering because I had to go to my driving class. I need this to end.
I'm over halfway through House of Leaves and I'm making music with a friend tomorrow. I'm going to New York this weekend, and I'm a bulldozer in an empty field. Or maybe just a dozer in an empty room.