This isn't pleasant.

anarchist's picture

Today was yk's last day of school (despite all of my efforts to convince him to go tomorrow), and with him gone and nothing happening in any of my classes, I'll be staying home the next two days as well. Unfortunately, he isn't going to be able to do anything with me for the next two weekends, which means that I won't see him for probably at least three weeks. So I'm going to be even more depressed and lonely. He said we'll make plans via texts, but he rarely ever responds to my texts, so I don't know how well it'll work out.

Everything just seems really weird now, especially after yesterday. It feels like he's a different person somehow, and I can't describe it well, but I'm not feeling very good about anything.


anarchist's picture

Everything feels dead.

For some reason it seems like the entire world has completely changed, and it'll never be the same again. Everything I've gotten used to is gone now.

Perhaps We Should Leave's picture


Change is inevitable. Change is eternal. You won't escape it. There's no use longing for what has changed. You need to move with it. Standing still and wishing things would stop changing will do no good.

If the boy has changed, then perhaps you should move toward or away from him. Standing still isn't going to make a changing person want to stick around.

* * *

A man is defined not by his convictions, but by what he denies of himself.

anarchist's picture

He hasn't changed.

I have. I was going to explain further, but then I realized that I can't. I just can't figure out how to put words together right now, sorry. Language is hard.

Beau's picture

You just can't get ahead

You just can't get ahead with this guy, and I don't think it's good for you to try to keep going for him.

I think you'll end up being doing stuff this summer with him, but maybe not the way you want it?


anarchist's picture

I don't care about getting ahead.

I just want to be able to be a friend of his, because bad feelings don't exist when I'm alone with him, so none of that stuff matters. I may end up doing stuff with him, but I can't seem to get any response out of him right now. He's either ignoring his texts or his phone. I don't think he's ignoring his phone, since he's texting his girlfriend all the time, so I'm kind of pissed at him right now.

anarchist's picture

I'm kind of getting worried.

He isn't responding to any texts, even though he told me to text him about this. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. If he keeps ignoring my attempts at communication, then I won't even be able to see him at all for over two months.