Hi. I haven't been here in a while - haven't needed to. My life's been good and my mind's been good, and when it hasn't I've turned to my girlfriend instead - sorry, old friends.
(Side note: I'm gonna miss you a lot when Oasis is gone - let's stay in touch! Private message me for contact information!)
So here's what brought me here today. I'm in Thailand on study abroad - long on time and short on supervision. And a thought that's been bouncing around my head is - what if I got my chest done while I'm here? It's a golden opportunity - no need for parental blessing or a doctor's okay, cost I might be able to afford with my current savings. I haven't actually found out how much it would cost or how much time it would take or whether they even have a place that does it in this city (not Bangkok), and I was planning on finding out those things before talking to people about it, but I realized as I was heading out the door to go ask someone - I'm fucking terrified.
Talking about this stuff always gives me more fear and stress than anything else, for one. I don't know if I could walk into the local botox-and-lipo clinic and ask "Hey, do you know where someone here could get a breast reduction?" It sounded so possible in my head, but so overwhelmingly terrifying when I took the first physical steps toward doing it.
Also, I'm not at all sure I even want it done, and I can't quite figure out why not. I imagine having to continue hiding my chest for a whole future, and having to navigate future sexual relationships like this, and those are unappealing prospects. But I also imagine having them gone, and I'm afraid I'd look like a twelve-year-old. And what if I need them for their biological purpose in the future - what if I don't end up with a woman willing to bear and suckle my children? What if it's the wrong decision - but then again what if I regret having missed the opportunity?
So, I don't know. Guess I'll head down to the clinic and see what I can see. No commitments. Maybe I won't even have to talk to anyone.
Any input you may have would be appreciated, although I don't have any specific questions....