Thoughts on an opportunity - input appreciated!

MacAvity's picture

Hi. I haven't been here in a while - haven't needed to. My life's been good and my mind's been good, and when it hasn't I've turned to my girlfriend instead - sorry, old friends.

(Side note: I'm gonna miss you a lot when Oasis is gone - let's stay in touch! Private message me for contact information!)

So here's what brought me here today. I'm in Thailand on study abroad - long on time and short on supervision. And a thought that's been bouncing around my head is - what if I got my chest done while I'm here? It's a golden opportunity - no need for parental blessing or a doctor's okay, cost I might be able to afford with my current savings. I haven't actually found out how much it would cost or how much time it would take or whether they even have a place that does it in this city (not Bangkok), and I was planning on finding out those things before talking to people about it, but I realized as I was heading out the door to go ask someone - I'm fucking terrified.

Talking about this stuff always gives me more fear and stress than anything else, for one. I don't know if I could walk into the local botox-and-lipo clinic and ask "Hey, do you know where someone here could get a breast reduction?" It sounded so possible in my head, but so overwhelmingly terrifying when I took the first physical steps toward doing it.

Also, I'm not at all sure I even want it done, and I can't quite figure out why not. I imagine having to continue hiding my chest for a whole future, and having to navigate future sexual relationships like this, and those are unappealing prospects. But I also imagine having them gone, and I'm afraid I'd look like a twelve-year-old. And what if I need them for their biological purpose in the future - what if I don't end up with a woman willing to bear and suckle my children? What if it's the wrong decision - but then again what if I regret having missed the opportunity?

So, I don't know. Guess I'll head down to the clinic and see what I can see. No commitments. Maybe I won't even have to talk to anyone.

Any input you may have would be appreciated, although I don't have any specific questions....

Comments

lonewolf678's picture

Sugery?

In Thailand of all places? Think about that for a while Avity, I implore you to consider the consequences should you choose to go forward with that.

jeff's picture

Well...

I think the biggest issue is that you are still pondering if it could be the wrong decision. If that is still swimming around, I wouldn't do anything yet.

As for surgery abroad, it is nothing new. A lot of westerners go there to have surgery because it is so much cheaper than the West, and many of the doctors there were trained in the West.

That said, I'd still find the best doctor possible for the job. If you're already getting non-Western prices, it isn't time for further deal hunting.

They are also more than familiar with trans issues, which I know from the number of ladyboys I met who had breast jobs already and, as the mamasan told me, "some cock, some no cock..." That said, I can't attest to how good the doctors did on either front.

---
"You don't know you're beautiful." - Harry Styles

MacAvity's picture

Thanks, guys

Lonewolf, like Jeff said, Thailand is actually an international destination for surgery things, so I wouldn't be worried on that front. Well, I'd be worried, but not enough to make that a reason not to do it.

Jeff, I've met a few ladyboys already, they are absolutely beautiful and many of them also have pretty amazing breasts. I want to hear more of your Thailand stories - I bet they're very different from mine....

I've evaluated my hesitation a bit more - still haven't come to any conclusions, but maybe a few insights. As to looking like a twelve-year-old, hell, I already look like a twelve-year-old (no, seriously, when last I checked I could still fit into the training bra they tried to get me to wear when I was twelve), and at least this way I could look like a twelve-year-old boy. Maybe fourteen. Possible future need for lactation is still an issue, but I've reminded myself that anyone with a Y-chromosome doesn't even have that choice. I think the real biggest source of hesitation is just that I'm afraid of change, especially irreversible change, and I don't loathe the status quo. Same reason I was (and to some extent still am) afraid of losing my virginity, even though wow, sex is great. But some irreversible changes are unavoidable - legal adulthood, graduation, menarche - and I've always eventually found the new status quo no worse (and often better) than the old one.

And yet I'm still thinking I probably won't do it. Still looking into the possibility, though - I've heard back from one clinic, they want photos, so there goes another thing I never thought I'd do, send topless pictures to a stranger. Heheheh. And Jeff... no.

jeff's picture

Jeez...

Shot down already...

My Thailand experiences in both 2003 and 2009, minus some of the more NC-17 bits are here:

http://jeffwalsh.com/2003/09/08/by-the-time-we-got-to-bangkok/

http://jeffwalsh.com/2009/06/18/it-begins/

Those are the starting pages for each visit. The first time was 4-5 weeks, and the second one was like 7 weeks or something, I think.

I imagine you're OK with sex now, since the title on this journal was "input appreciated"?

---
"You don't know you're beautiful." - Harry Styles

lonewolf678's picture

Well,

it's all your decision and if you've thought about it this much it may be worth pursuing. The photos thing... eek! But hey, just don't put your face in the photo, and no one would be the wiser right? Just sign your name on it, so they know it's you, I would think.

MacAvity's picture

Yeah, and thanks

It turned out to be too expensive anyway, so now I'm free of having to make that decision....