As Soon As I Belong I Disappear

Roamer's picture

I've waiting a long time to write this, my first journal, and while the days are running out on this site I still think I can contribute something to it.

I'm Alex, I'm almost fourteen, and I'm writing this at the 28th address I've lived at in my life. Yes, you read that correctly.

My Mom is a travel nurse, and every 13 months we move to a new place as she takes on a different assignment. There's a critical nursing shortage in the United States, and because she's a NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) specialist she's in demand. She's makes really good money ($100,000+ a year) and one of the perks is that our housing costs are completely covered. For most people housing is 30% or more of their income so that's a big deal!

Mom loves to travel and have new experiences, and starting over every few months is exciting for her. We get to see some great places, and everywhere we lived has been a new adventure. For her it's the job of a lifetime.

For me it means as soon as I feel comfortable somewhere I have to leave, and with each move that's getting harder for me. Mom knows this, and she does things to try to make it easier for me. I don't have a Dad, so it's just us.

We have a deal that I get to live in my hometown with my grandparents between April to June so I can play baseball, my favorite sport and a huge part of my life. I also have the option of going to my local school or home schooling using the lesson plans of my hometown school each time we move. I'm also a Boy Scout, and as soon as I am settled in my new home I join a local troop.

What Mom doesn't know is that I'm gay, well mostly gay anyway. I've had a lot of experiences, both gay and straight, and when you know you'll be leaving soon it makes things easier. It also means having a steady boyfriend is impossible.

I'll write more about my life and travels in the near future, but for now I'll call it a night.

Roamer (Alex)


anarchist's picture


That's awful. I thought living in four different places over my 17 years was bad, but moving every 13 months sucks.

I kind of have that problem, because moving to a different continent on the other side of the world when I was seven fucked up my social behavior a bit, and then moving again at 12 to the other side of the country fucked it up way more, so I haven't had any close friends in the last four years, nor have I ever had any non-platonic experiences with anyone in any form. It's kind of nice to know my situation isn't as bad as some.

Anyway, you get to see new places all the time, which is cool, because staying in one spot really sucks after a while, especially in fucking southern Maryland where there isn't even nice scenery or atmosphere or even walking paths to make up for the lack of things. You likely have several decades to settle down, so it's cool that you started travelling from the very beginning.

Roamer's picture

Oh no...

I did a really bad typo. We move every 13 WEEKS not MONTHS!

Moving this much has some downfalls but I'm used to it. I'm going to write about this soon.

I've seen every part of the country, and my favorite places were Seattle and Tampa. I love the beach and the mountains too. Mom and I hate snow so we're never in the northern part of the country in the winter.

When you know you're going to be gone in a few months making friends is hard, but I've managed to stay in touch with most of the close friendships through Facebook and Twitter. Also, if we return to the same place I know I have friends there!


jeff's picture


Welcome to Oasis, and yes, we'll be here for a little while longer...

Interesting life. There are pluses and minuses no matter what your situation. The first one that jumps to mind is that few people your age have steady dating partners for longer than 13 months, so if you pin one down when you first move (rather than letting your upcoming departure give you the freedom to come out and approach someone), the odds are that you won't be with them when it's time to leave anyway.

Even if you are still together, it's better to pursue it and deal with the consequences than avoid it because you might get hurt down the line. You can't spend your life avoiding situations that could cause you pain, since that will be a good amount of them. It will always be better to have loved and get hurt, then stayed insulated.

This all ends in 3-4 years for college anyway, so may as well ride it out. Are any of these global destinations, or just banging around the U.S.? Global would be way more fun...

"You don't know you're beautiful." - Harry Styles

Roamer's picture

Typo again...sorry :-p

We actually move every 13 weeks, but it's really not all that bad.

Everywhere I've lived I'm managed to at least hook up with other boys, and sometimes girls. Knowing that I'll be leaving at a certain date has made me a bit more aggressive about relationships, but I also know if things are bad at a place we'll be leaving soon.

Some of these relationships were really hard to leave, but I've learned to enjoy the time I have with whoever I'm with. And like I mentioned in my reply to Anarchist, Facebook and Twitter have helped me maintain the relationships that mean the most to me.

We've lived mostly in the United States, a few times we went to Canada but the pay isn't as good and there's tax and other complications that doesn't make living there as desirable. I've been to every providence in Canada except for the Yukon and I love it there! Toronto is one of my favorite places.

This type of living has made me more independent, but it's also made me really need stability too. I'll be writing about this soon.

I've just started school again so my time's a bit tighter than on summer break.


anarchist's picture

well i'm slightly jealous of you.

you get to travel often and have a lot of intimate experiences. i'm a shutin introvert who hates talking to most people, so i tend to get really lonely. you have it pretty nice from my perspective.

Roamer's picture

Well...sometimes I want to

Well...sometimes I want to have your life. Stability is what I miss the most, and having to leave the boys (and girls) that I've become close to gets old very fast.

There are positives, but as I get older I really want to just be in one place. Mom's hinted at settling in one spot so I can go to the high school in my hometown, but I'll believe that when I see it!

I don't think it shows, but I'm actually a quiet, shy guy. I've been forced to be an extrovert but it's not my choice or true nature.


anarchist's picture

I wish I had a reason to be an extrovert.

Even if I don't enjoy it, it would be worth it to have friends who could help me feel better. Instead, as I get separated from friends, I just get quieter, and now I rarely talk at all around other people and it sucks.

Perhaps We Should Leave's picture


It's nice to see something new here. New people are... good.

I'm sorry to hear that you move around so much, and that it makes life difficult in some ways. I look forward to hearing more from you.


* * *

And as I stand here, strange and fearful,
beholding heaven at the peak,
I know that to complete my journey
still stranger pastures must I seek.

Roamer's picture

Thanks...I'm going to be

Thanks...I'm going to be posting more soon!

Moving a lot has it's good points too, and I will be writing about that too.


swimmerguy's picture

This is indeed good to see

I would say this site needs some fresh blood, but really it needs live blood of any kind.
As for you situation, I'm not sure which is worse. You appear to have great self-confidence and ability to approach things like relationships aggressively because you know it won't matter in 3 months anyway. But you lack stability.
Is it worse to be confident but without building deep roots, or to have roots that are too deep and comforting to venture into any new things? Honestly, in my opinion, it's better to travel. Having roots is nice for some reasons, but it gets boring, and doing the same thing all year all day is like putting your life on a conveyor belt to move it more quickly towards death, because you're bored of living.

Anyway, I'm one of the older members now, I suppose, and I don't post nearly as often as I used to when I was a regular but I still lurk sometimes and plan to until the site shuts down in 3 months.