Coming Out

bookworm42's picture

I'm bisexual but only my closest friends know that. This summer, at my summer program, I was a lot more open with some of the girls in the dorm than I had ever been before and it felt really good to tell people who I was. Unfortunately, I think that because I knew I probably wasn't going to be seeing any of those people again, I was a lot more open about my sexuality. Now, I'm going to be a Freshman in high school and I really want to be open and come out about who I am, but I'm terrified. I'm going to be spending the next four years with these people, and not only that but I'm going to boarding school I will be living with them as well. I want to come out, but I'm scared and I don't know how. Can I get some advice on how I should go about this?

jeff's picture


There is no right or wrong way to come out, just like there will never be a perfect time to come out. At a certain point, you just do it.

If this is a new school, which sounds like the case, you do have the chance never have to come out to anyone, since you can just be out from day one. Change Facebook to say you like boys and girls. And from there, you don't have to do anything but be yourself. As soon as you see yourself censoring something you're about to say, stop, and just say it. And if they look confused, just say that you like boys and girls.

I think there is less far terror in being out from day one than closeted for four years. Plus, if everyone there is new, as well, people being open from the beginning can sort of set the tone for your time at the school.

Now, keep in mind, if you're going to some religious school with codes of conduct or something, where being out can mean being kicked out, then you have more to think about. Also, do some research online and on Facebook, is there a GSA, anything about previously gay students (and if so, try and contact them).

The other upside is that you're a girl, and other girls are usually less concerned about rooming situations like this, unlike boys.

So, do some research, and have a plan... and it will all work out. You can skip a lot of the usual headaches of my friends don't know and they're religious, and on and on, by just building a circle of supportive friends who know about you and are cool with you from day one.

Good luck! And Welcome to Oasis...

"You don't know you're beautiful." - Harry Styles