it's probably been at least a month since i've posted in here. but i've gotten a lot happier now, and i'm fortunately no longer in the state i've been in. it seemed pretty endless, but i've finally recovered from complete nihilism, and now i'm only in the partially nihilistic state that's normal for me, though i'm still struggling to identify the creator of this universe, and what really is behind the illusion of life. but that can wait for now.
i've been writing a bit of poetry inspired by this spiritual ambiguosity, and keeping it in an old journal i found in my room. i'm quite proud of what i write, but i don't really know what to do with it all, since i don't want to post everything here (for confidentiality reasons) and i can't think of any ways to apply it to music, which would be the most ideal conclusion. maybe i'll show my writings to someone i know who could give me advice. any suggestions will be appreciated.
things have been going alright. i've been spending a lot of time alone indoors unfortunately, but i get out sometimes on the weekends, and do things in DC and virginia. i also just ordered one of my favorite albums on vinyl, Lunatic Harness by µ-Ziq, an album that i've posted on here many times throughout the time i've been a member. it cost me $50 but it was definitely worth it. it's a fantastically beautiful and nostalgic album, and severely underrated. (and, coincidentally, it was released just a few months after i was born.) now i just have to wait for it to arrive from Belgium.
school is beginning in about ten days and i am not prepared. i have not done any of the summer assignments yet, and my sleeping schedule is pretty much at a nocturnal level, which is its natural state. now school's going to fucking ruin it again. at least i'll get to talk to people soon.
i might add more later. i don't know. have some really good music: