It's already been a year since the time of long lasting genuine happyness and prosperity I enjoyed. I still hold onto my relationships and family even through the storms, we're all stronger for that in the end even if we don't see it at first. Things are continuing to change, I don't know how many times I mention change but it's something I need to live with.
I've since gotten new sunglasses and had the lenses done in brown, just like the ones I had two years ago. Their almost the same, and that little thing, is so profound to me. I always loved how brown lenses made the world seem familiar and less harsh, although that's far from the actual way of things. I suppose my brown tinted lenses are a comfort.
When SEGA played a huge role in my life, when anime became something I really took an interest in. When family was doing pretty well all around. When we had what we needed, maybe a little more than that. I don't complain, but I do sometimes wish I could live through that one year all over again and do things just the same.
I've noticed that one of my friends sometimes openly discusses a similar longing, although I read more into it that he realizes. He sometimes brings up the times in which we were in high school. He does wish to do that all over again just the same. Seldom times deep, deep within myself, I wish the same but I'll never admit it to anyone.
But what I do to quell those specific thoughts about high school is to remind myself of the bullying I had to overcome at school and emotional hardship at home (at the end of senior year). I wasn't the man I was then, I was just some 18 year old without a clue. Although some times were memorable, not all of those memorable times were good.
I chalk it up to, time lived well enough, no need for a do over. But I do remember the teachers, the homework, the lunches, the majority of the school building which now no longer exists. I reminisce, rather than long for in that regard. It's been a while, a while to stay looking to a future, no matter what we all move on.
Don't forget the goodtimes, they don't last forever.