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Jeff

January 2000

Yo listen up, here's the story, about a little guy that lives in a blue world... and all day and all night and everything he sees is just blue, like him, inside and outside, blue his house with a blue little with a blue little window and a blue corvette and everything is blue for him, and himself, and everybody around, and he ain't got nobody to listen...

Can we say OVERPLAYED?!? Okay okay.. It's a good song, and I like it, and I think it's funny how the song has been out for over a month now, and the little breeders in my town with the butch trucks and the huge speakers and NOW, a month later blasting this song whilst they drive up and down the main street (the one and only) trying to pick up girls who are somehow impressed by the size of a man's speakers.

The size... hmm.... okay... in a gay man's life, I could see how physically it would be important to have a 'good size' but if you think about it-you only need like-2 inches to please a woman... Who cares? Really?.... I just don't understand the butchness or the mentality behind the 'size' of 'things'. I guess I never will.

Okay, obviously, the song of the month is above-it makes me blue. Hehe.. Ironically, when it came out, I went and bought and blue shiny shirt. Strange of me, eh? So it looks awesome dancing to blue with a shiny blue shirt, while the old men scream "take it off honey". EEK.

Okay... Now I'm thinkin' of another song... this one, ironically, HAS hit my little small town, and all the skanky little hoes are doing whatever they do to it.... I wouldn't really like to find out what they do, considering most of them already have like 12 children and live on welfare.... I can hear them singing "It's not right, but it's okay, I'm gonna make it anyway." <-right.. it is NOT right that they live on welfare, but, hey... to them it's okay... their future is guaranteed by MY tax money. I just wanna kick em in the head. I personally have more respect for the squeegee kids in Toronto, and the people that are actually DOING something for money, and not sitting back and letting the rest of the world finance their living. That, and squeegee kids are cute-some of them at least.

Jeffie got pictures, people-you'd be proud of me. I actually got myself a digital camera, and if you check out the oasismag archives, you'll see my bitching and complaining about the fact that I don't have any pictures- well-here they are: http://shaw.8m.com/jeffie-feel free to have a look, and send me comments about how ugly I am, or how you worship me, or how your dog looks better than me, or how I look like Satan/God/Bill Gates-whatever :P Just let me know what you think-old pedophiles that weight 300 billion pounds and want to stalk me NEED NOT APPLY. I've received plenty of comments from those kinds of people before at the bar.

Which brings me to my next point-you know what sucks? The only place that gay kids anywhere around where I live can go to dance and stuff is in big cities, and in those big cities, all they have is bars. I sometimes wish that I lived in San Francisco or something where they've got the huge dance places that are set out just for teens to go dancing and have fun at. It just seems stupid to me that you just because you have to be 19 to drink, you can't get into the bar to dance. I can see if they wanted ID to get drinks and stuff, but geez-just to get in and dance-it's not even illegal for someone my age to be in a bar with ZERO blood alcohol content- so why can't they just let me in to dance?

Well.. not that it matters-I get in anyhow, and all I do there is dance anyway. You gotta love those podium things with the lights underneath that you can dance on-hheheheheeh..I feel like one of the boys from EC (Electric Circus-one of those Much Music dance things where they have all the awesome club hits, and all of the awesome dancers that are really cute and dress with club gear... mmmmm).. sorry.. getting off topic.

Anyway... It's almost the 15th, so this article is kinda put together quickly... I know that by the time you guys read it, it's going to be past Christmas, but hey.. what do you WANT from me?.... Like I was saying- I've got most of my Christmas shopping done-well.. actually... if you consider 2 people done as most, then... *shrug*... anyway. The malls are looking more like cattle farms now than anything else. I find it quite amusing to moo while I'm in a large 'herd' and have everyone look at me, then get out of the way because they are scared. hehehehe...... I've got a stupid humour, I admit it.

Now... for all of the boyz out there who do makeup and scents and stuff- this is fer you. I was visiting the body shop a week ago, and I picked up this AWESOME body oil-it rawks. It's called ORIGNIAL VANILLA. Not only is this stuff an aphrodisiac for males, it also makes you smell like cakes and cookies-all nice and winterish and stuff. I have to say that I am much more popular in the 'butt grabbing' world now that I wear this stuff- guys can't get enough of it!

So.... if you want some attention-go with Original Vanilla from the body shop... mmm...

For any of you reading this that might be in MY area-Windsor, Tilbury, Chatham.. blah... I got it from the Body Shop in Windsor-it is such a gay friendly store, and one of the most awesome people I know works there-he's cute, smart, and he looks wonderful, and better than all of that, he can make you smell like a CREAMSICLE!-he's one of those trained scent people.

What else is new with Jeffie? hmm... My aunt died of an aneurysm (1. A pathological, blood-filled dilatation of a blood vessel.) and her multi-million dollar business is now missing its head owner. If any of you watch the shopping channels (?!?!), it's a product called Solarc-this neat shoe implant that improves posture. It's neat-it allowed her to walk without pain. Anyway, she's dead, life goes on-my uncle was kinda upset, but he is allowed. What a depressing funeral that was...

What did I get out of the funeral you asked? Other than tears, and feeling depressed for a week, I got to hit the Le Chateau in St. Catherines (www.le-chateau.com) It was awesome. I got lots of cool clothes, and it helped me to look even better than I do now. ROCK ON!

Now most of you are thinking "What a superficial bastard"-please don't think that. I'm adding this now as I just reviewed my entire article, and all I'm talking about is looks, and blah blah blah-I'm sorry... I really am not superficial, and that's one of the reasons I'm not dating anyone right now. I'm one of those LTR (Long Term Relationship) kinda guys, and I don't want to get into anything that is going to hurt me. What matters the most in the world to me is that a guy have an awesome personality, and a sense of humour above all the rest. Looks DO play a role, and I'm not going to deny that, and I am a little superficial, but not to an extent where it 'owns' me, and all decisions I make are based around superficiality-cuz they're not. Superficial people bother me. They remind me of the hoes here in Chatham that hit on the guys with the nice cars and the money because they know that they're going to get more than just sex and drugs outta the guy-they're going to rip him off for all the money he can provide. It's the guy's fault too tho-they shouldn't be stupid and should realize that the ugly little skanks just want them for their money anyhow.

Sooo.... article in review

THERE WILL BE A TEST ON FRIDAY :p heheheheheheheh

Oh oh oh... I just got my G2-fer all of you that aren't in Ontario, that's a step up up from a beginner's license, and 1 below a full license..... Let me explain

Sooo... since I don't drink, and I'm not a taxi, I don't have to worry about anything! WHOO HOO...

I'm sorry that I didn't get all Christmas-ish in this article, but I figured enough people would be talking about how they got to cuddle up with the person they loved, and how they had so much fun and got so many presents, I figured you guys might want to hear from some average guy who doesn't have a boyfriend and who doesn't get many Christmas presents....

Actually, while I'm on the thought of boyfriends-I need one. Anyone interested? LOL.

I'm outta here fer now people-see you next month STAY BEAUTIFUL!

wuv,

jeffie

Jeffie is a computer geek from Chatham Ontario Canada-He likes to type, and read, and do math homework-HA.. not.. okay.. really though, he's an average guy from a small town that has too much time on his hands. He's now got pictures online, which you can see at http://shaw.8m.com/jeffie-if you want, you can also peruse the rest of his sadistic website, or email him at oasis@shaw.8m.com. Jeffie LOVES email from his readers (HINT HINT) so click on that link there, and send him your thoughts, pictures of your cat, pictures of your pet Tomato Plant, porn-erm.. I mean... educational content, floppy disks, modems, money or anything else you feel like. He responds to every email-so what are you waiting for?


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