January 2000

Who would have thought...

Yep, I'm free as a bird, well.... I have a taste of it. As any of you who recall my article in the December issue, I felt pretty depressed. I kept going on about how I felt "caged" and so forth because of being in the closet. Well anyway, thanks to all the people who e-mailed me, I decided to come out to my friend, Mel.

That day

Just a little background info on the day it happened.

My article had just been put up online and I began to freak out and get all paranoid. I spent all afternoon planning the lie I would use if anyone at my school read it and how if anyone did I would get the shit beat out of me. Then I got my first response, I can't remember who it was but they said that they knew just how I felt and that they had recently overcome the same obstacle. I read about how they felt like they had just dropped 10 thousand pounds off their back and how they felt a lot better after it. I figured coming out would be one of the best things that ever happened to me. It was.

The Conversation

Well, deciding I needed to tell someone, I did. I got on ICQ and my friend Mel came online, I hesitated for a minute and then messaged her asking her if she felt I was a good friend of hers, I continued by asking if she could keep a secret (about 10 times, I think she figured I would tell her I get beaten at home or I killed someone, boy was she in for a surprise, by the way I haven't killed anyone or ever been beaten). Then I said it, "...I'm gay". I figure her head hit the monitor because it took her a few minutes to reply, (hmmm, she better not have laughed.......) and then she kept asking me if I was serious. Anyway to make a long description less long, it turned out great.


No, I haven't taken an enema (get it, relief, hehe, I crack myself up sometimes, ok that's enough of that). So here I am, happier than a pig in shit and I only told one person (I wonder what will happen when I tell more people, not that I'm going to rush it or anything). Now all I have to work on is my "gaydar" feature for future use as well as keeping my wandering eyes to myself, I keep almost getting caught.That's it for this month, don't forget to send me some e-mail. jackmcfarel@hotmail.com

P.S.: Anyone seen "beautiful thing"? I heard of it and I looked at my video store but I can't find it, I might order it online but I need to know if it's good or not.

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