January 2000

Taking A Break

Sometimes you need to stop and smell the roses, and take a good look at yourself...where you are at the moment, where you want to be down the road, and how far you have come since you last gave yourself a good once over in the mirror.

Folks, I need some time off.

The last two-and-a-half years have been among the most special yet difficult ones of my life, and in fact I break my life up in two time periods -- Before Oasis and After Oasis. Before I even knew Oasis existed I had to face the growing realization of my sexuality with just my longtime boyfriend Eric as my support system, but after I made my debut here, I became a part of group who at the very least shares a common thread. I was no longer alone, and the relief of knowing that marked a turning point in my life. You, my constant reader, have seen me in many different stages of the journey that ultimately leads to self-acceptance, from my early stumblings to my coming out to ultimately where I'm at today. It hasn't always been fun but the end result was worth the effort.

Now as I look at myself, all is not well. The past few months have been very difficult for me, and although it doesn't always show in what I write those who have contact with me on a daily basis can see it on my face. Lately I've been grappling with some very difficult personal issues, and my temperament has taken me to depths, which I have never been before. In fact, a few days before writing this I was seconds away from a successful suicide attempt, and in what may be the bravest thing I have ever said here, I need help.

Right now I need to take time off from having a deadline to meet, and I think having some time to sit back and evaluate my life and deal with my problems will ultimately make me not only a better columnist, but a better person as well. Oasis has been such an important part of my life that it's very difficult for me to walk away even for a short time, but I have to do this and there's no way around it. I'm proud of what I've written, but I'm even prouder of the fact that I gave something back...something we all should strive to do.

Before closing, while there are too many people to thank individually, I want to give a special thanks to Oasis Editor Jeff Walsh for well...everything, and also a round of applause to the Oasis Staff for all the work they do. You folks are awesome! I also want to thank everyone who has ever read my columns, written to me, and yes, I want to thank those who have been critical of me, for you helped shape because you made me think, something we all need from time to time.

While I can't say when I'll be back, just know that when I do return it'll be worth the wait. I'll still have the same e-mail address so please write if you wish.

All my love,

Ty Tyomaniac@aol.com

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