Two poems by Josh Westbrook

To Sean

a voice can change all....

especially yours

the phone rang
I answered
and your soft voice sent
a charge down my spine

so soft
and at times, so scared
and I said to myself...

"yes, he is real"

"he is what he says"

"I could really love him"

"all he said was true"

and my mind wandered...

I wanted to hear that voice
come up behind me in the dark
whispering "I love you"

I wanted to hear your voice
in the middle of the night
I wanted to cuddle up
to your warm body
and listen to you all night
digest all you have to say,
absorb all you are
and never let anyone know
that I was there...

because it was our time
and they can never take that
away from me
no matter how many fists
I endure
no matter how many laws
they pass against me
no matter how many names
they brand us with,
I will always have you
and your soft voice
to calm me
to stop the tears

maybe I am running
with a dream
forcing a fantasy
but it would be nice right?
and you know I
would do the same for you, right?

I just wish you were near
I wish you were here
I wish we could fast forward
to ten years down the line
when we are in our 30's
living in a modest home
me, the best-selling poet...
you, the real estate mogul...
and together, a power couple in a strange city
but wait...

forgive my mind, it is impulsive
it gets ahead of itself
I mean all I have is words
on a screen
and a soft voice on the phone
but to be honest
sometimes that is enough
so I wait,
for the next chat,
for the next call
and in my mind
I trace the steps of our first meeting
planning the time and place,
planning the smile I will have on my face
but again, I move too fast...

for you are only a voice
only a name in a chat
but then I am the same to you
but still... you're mine
and I'm yours...

Dancing in my Dreams

and I believe that this is all there is...
rhythm, sweat, and bodies
thumping in my head...
divas and circuit boys
drag-oons and the drugs
and this is all there is...
the beat hitting my head,
my inner needs are fed,
I can scream out,
and flame about
and know that I am safe
that these are my people
and that these heels are fabulous
and I am a God
the beat will never end
the sun will never rise
and my life is finally complete
am I rising or falling
moving or motionless
the beat has found me and
I am One with the bodies around me
and the beat will never end
the music will live on forever,
and this really was my shade,
she didn't lie
and I am a God
and the lights blind me
as a new wave hits me
and the hands come in
all followed by a grin
grabbing, and needing
softly proceeding
to urge me on
before the night is gone
and the beat grows stronger, louder
the screams and laughing filling my ears
as the room spins from my control
and the hands rip and tear at my body

Music raging,
Hands craving,
my mind lost,
and body tossed,
lights blinding
and nowhere finding
that one way out
that friendly shout
that here is the way
to get safe, out of the way
and suddenly the ground
is where I am found
and boots and heels
stabbing into me seals
the fate I am dealt
as more pain is felt
and suddenly the sound
that is almost profound
of the day breaking
and my foolish mistaking
of dream worlds I see
that are not my reality
and silently I ponder
that it is good I do not wander
to far from the fold
that will always be there to hold
me in my place
so I will keep my pretty face
and as I pull myself up
and peel the sweaty sheets away
from a shaking body
and a fragile mind I prepare for the life
that I was doomed to lead
and longing for the night to return
and the beat
that will never leave me
the love and acceptance that is always too much to handle
those blissful moments when I am a God
instead of just something quite odd..


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