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Jesse

February 2000

"I said, boy, are you my 5th Avenue?"

This article is brought to you by Febreze, the spray-on relief from all types of odors at the source, by Squaresoft's Chocobos, (Who doesn't want one?), and the people who make the neat rainbow socks with the individual toes. And continuing support of viewers like YOU!

"Snow, Snow, Snow."

How I love Snow. Let me count the ways... names, let me count the days that school is out, and I bask in the relief of sitting in bed playing Secret of Mana and painting my toenails clear.

Of course, snow does have something more to offer us. There is virtually nothing more I can truly enjoy then lying in my back yard staring up at the sky, with nothing but white placidness surrounding me... a cool, calm serenity that just seems to whisper, "Solitarily speaking, I'm all yours to indulge in. Go ahead. Spoil yourself." And I basically fall asleep in the snow. Cute, huh?

"Suzaku no Miko"

How I love Anime. How I love Conventions. Slap the two together, and what do we have? ANIME CONVENTION. I'm geared up and ready to go... I was invited to go by a good friend, (Who's artwork puts mine to shame), and I'm going out, full style... actually, in Character. Anyone familiar with the Anime "Fushigi Yuugi" should appreciate the fact I'm dressing up as Tasuki to the last detail. Tasuki...the women-hating, fowlmouthed redhead with that wicked fan of his... I wonder if he's straight. Hmm.

"I've lain with the devil... to bring you my love..."

Hey...I've had my first scary bible-thumper experience. Somehow, I thought they'd be older...but an underclassman (of course), asked me one day if I was gay. Of course, anyone who saw the rainbow strap across my bookbag wouldn't ask such a pathetically stupid question. So I pretended to stop and think about it a momento, and smiled broadly and responded... "Well...my sexuality sways from bi-sexual to gay depending on three variables... the weather, my mood, and my diet... it's raining out...that's a good thing...I'm in a good mood...and I just had sushi for lunch...so I'm gay for right now..about 5% more then usual."

If you could see the look on his face...

"Well...At least you're proud of it," he slurred in his inbred, hickish sense of speech. Hey, the kid at one point said something about when I was a "Youngin' " Hey, Laura Ingalls Wilder. Little House on the Prairie, Right?

Uh-huh. O_o

So, the next day, bouncing along from the late bus, with my friend Kristen, asking her what her views on Transcendentalism was, and if she thought Emerson or Thoreau was better...and here comes this hideously tacky kid..(Yes, I know his name...but as to not embarass the poor little creature as he hides under his rock, I will refer to him as "Kid.") Anyway, he came up aside me, wearing a cowboy hat, and this giant belt buckle...and blue jeans I've seen him wore twice a week. Now I have no problem with his attire...It only caused me to instantly label him, which was wrong... ((I keep looking out the window...SNOW, DAMN IT!)), and he opened his hickish mouth, and said to me, "Hey...if you're Catholic...(I am?), and all...why are you gay? How can you justify that?" I looked at him, sized him up... and smiled and said, "I never discuss three topics with people...Politics, Religion, and how good they were in bed. That destroys relationships. Not that we have one, but I don't owe you an explanation. That business is with the HP, and myself. I don't know where you get the gusto and audacity to ask me such a thing, but...I don't need to Justify it. I act on impulse, and stick to my instincts. Got it?" And I walked off with Kristen, agreeing with her that Emily Dickinson kicked everyone's ass.

Of course, days later, I would see him at ShopRite, where I work...and he would tell me that he would later "Cure" me with his friends and whatnot. I'm shrugging it off now...but I won't tolerate ignorant crap like that...And speaking of ShopRite, I'm quitting Front end and working at the sushi department...Yeah!

Well...I read some person's article..actually I know exactly who it was... Now I sorta can understand it...but I sorta got a little pissed at the realism..they said that Oasis is about a bunch of boys complaining about not getting dates... but whatever. I don't think I really ever complain... I just tell stories, and "weave the marvelous threads that glow in the darkness all neon like." (Tell me who did that line, and you get a cookie!) And thank you to all the people who wrote me they liked me writing last week. You're all sweet...and stuff. Especially one person liked my one-liner about cute, sweet, bi, sensitive jocks...gee, where'd they all go? Huh. If you're exactly that, and you can prove it...I'm mailing you a check to fly over here and have a "tea party" with me.

"I am what you mothers fear you to be, what causes congressmen to wet their pants, and what causes religious leaders to jump into a frenzy. I am the next generation of conflict of struggle and pain, but the outcome will bring the toleration of sexuality...something all people want is acceptance. Our time is now. Reach for it. Make it spin. Make it Shine. Crave it, Caress it. This is either a bomb or a blessing...either way...the time is now." ~Me

I had more to say, but I'm a tad under the weather, and I'm fatigued...I hope it snows where you are, too...for your sake. I'll leave you with a poem I wrote.

Sinless Angel
October 31st, born in my arms
Knowing I'd keep her safe from Daylight
but when she opened those eyes
for the seventh time
I knew She'd never be mine.
"Dastardly Deeds Pale in confusion
to my life and homage" said she,
with the Voice of the Jagged Waif
Drowning in Vanilla and Ash
"Give me your serenity, your composure,
your pre-concepts of death
and before your eyes you will see
the ghastly truths I Confess"
Pure as black diamonds to the cherub's hands
She growled, "Death is a dream, for in death,
I am with him....Oh, Eternity, Let me be free."
"Killer of Pharoahs, Tameless Treasure, Fateful Destiny."
"Let me be free...Guide me home."
In my embrazened arms I held her alone
In the shadowless pierce of Midnight
And let her loose in the perfect tide
I took her down (I let her down)
To watch her drown (I watched her drown)
With her eyes open, she giggled something macabre
"Welcome to the Nightmare Opera..."
My lovely daughter, at the right hand
Of Death, Mr. Scratch, the fear of man
Her tameless Spirit gone, of the Fragile Girl
I watched her sinless soul in the tide swirl.
I took her home to True Father's Arms,
Safely beyond the reach of harms
Of Man's Society, but how I do miss
The Gothic Cherub's fatal Kiss.
God Give me strength to Realize
This infinite moment to Rationalize
Is too far, too near...
I lost what I held dear...
Go, Angel, Scream, Angel,
Follow her name,
Don't rest till you bring her
Back home again.
Go Angel, Scream Angel,
Follow her name,
Don't rest till you bring her
Back home again.
Go, Angel, Scream, Angel,
Follow her name,
Don't rest till you bring her
Back home Again.


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