March 2000

House Of Cards

"You can know someone better in a moment of honesty than you ever will in a lifetime of lies."

To begin with, I'd like to apologize for missing last month. I don't know if anyone noticed I didn't submit an article, but I'd like to think that SOMEONE missed me. My life has been hectic to say the least. I've gone through more turmoil in this past month than I experienced in the past year put together. Because of all this junk, I'm going to keep this short, but I did want to update you.

About a month ago, my mom announced that she would be moving to Kentucky to marry an Internet love and a country recording artist none the less. In my senior year of high school, there was no way I'd leave to go to another state. So my mom has recently left for Internet country love, and I'm left here in Michigan on my own. It was really great that mom gave me two weeks notice.

I'm doing okay, but things have been rough to say the least. It's hard when all of the sudden someone you've always been able to depend is suddenly not there. Do me a favor and show those who care for you that you love them. You really don't know when they'll be gone.

Secondly, the whole B.T. situation has exploded in my face. The one person I thought I could love has used me for the last time. He ran away from home, and I went out on a limb to help him. When the house of cards came tumbling down, he used me as the cushion. His parents are unfairly blaming me, and I've been lucky that I've escaped serious trouble. But I know when it's time to let go. I haven't seen B.T. in over a month... haven't even talked to him... and I don't plan to anytime soon.

Now for the big event of the past month. A close friend of mine, a Kindred Spirit came to me first hour, pulled me aside and shared with me some news that would irreversibly alter my life. "A friend of yours has betrayed your trust," were the first words out of his mouth that morning. It seems that the Betrayer, someone who I once considered a friend, thought it would be fun to hack into my email account. Suffice to say, he found out some very interesting things about me. By the time Kindred Spirit came to me, six other people knew that "I like both boys and girls." I had been outed.

At first, the panic shot through me like nothing I had ever felt before. My mind reeled on what could possibly happen as the information spread through my small town school. I am positive that I completed no work that day. But Kindred Spirit was there for me. Let me say first off, he's straight and has a girlfriend that he very much cares about, but he's very open.

"This is really unfair to you," he said. "You would have let people know... you would have let me know when you were ready. This takes the power out of your hands, but I want you to know that I'll be here for you."

I've known him for years, but the compassion and strength he displayed surprised me. Why hadn't I opened up to this friend a long time ago. But everything has worked out for a reason.

As Kindred Spirit and I run around doing "damage control" trying as best we could to quench rumors about me. Regardless of what happens from here, it's nice to know that someone understands me. It's great to know that even when the house of cards is tumbling down around you, there's a friend to hold you up.


MrPostman lives in Michigan. He enjoys theater, writing, and music. Drop him a line at his NEW email address MrPostman@notme.com

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