The Wanderer

March 2000

Hello Friends! This is my 3rd submission to Oasis. Not bad...

I'm slightly less jaded at the moment than I was when I last wrote to you. Probably since I've seen less intolerance in the town of my dwelling. No, they aren't accepting of G/L/B people, but, at least, they've been less vocal about their closed-minded, pin-headed thoughts. You, my adoring fans (yeah right), have witnessed my turmoil within the few words I have written to you, so you probably have somewhat of a blueprint of my strange little mind...

My main fear in being bisexual is not that I want to tell everyone and that I'm afraid of their reaction -- my fear is that I may fall in love with a woman again. And when I fall in love, I really fall in love. I can't help how I feel. If I can manage to prevent this, then I will be OK, because I will be able to hide who I am from those who will shun me. This is a very difficult task.

"Why do you care about what others think," you ask? I don't. Well, for the most part anyway. I care about my family and what they will do. They will surely disown me, cut off all contact with me, and, if at all possible, drive me out of the nation!!! And I don't think I could deal with that.

Yes, for true love I would give up anything (I'm the romantic sort) but this is real life. One mistake and I'm gone.

Why am I writing this? I really don't know. I apologize if I've started babbling about senseless things, but I'm sort of in a state of reflection right now. A state of utter philosophy. I often try to comprehend why we're hated so much. Why does anyone care what two consenting individuals do in privacy? Why does anyone care that two people, who happen to be of the same gender, are in love? Why are we such a damn society of voyeurs???

I don't know. I really wish I could answer these questions, but I don't know. I will be 18 in March, the month this issue comes out. Newfound responsibilities are just putting me in a state of thought that I'm not usually in so often.

Perhaps this is a new beginning. Perhaps we will all one day learn from one another, rather than hurt and kill each other. Perhaps we will all understand our differences.

Equality is a sham. No one is equal, no one is the same. We must learn to recognize that not everyone conforms to the norm and that NO ONE has the same exact principles, the same exact morals. Then, and only then, will we get beyond this Hell of hate because we will learn to acknowledge our differences and to accept others, not because of the similarities, but because of who they are. Equality in life can only come out of the recognition of the differences we all have. When I blow out the candles on that birthday cake, I hope to have a brighter outlook on life. And I want that outlook to be made real.


"The Wanderer"

Feel free to use this address if you have questions/comments: The_wandering_one@bigfoot.com

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