What am I to do with so much going on in my life? I had a lot of stress from a performance I had to do and with school events, I was totally plugged up with no time to do anything. It is spring break now in Edmonton and I finally have time to think and look at my schedule and I am screwed! I have so much to do in one week. It's not enough!
Anyway, I'll stop whining about it. I'd like to thank the people that wrote me for my last column. I expected more bashing than praises but I was wrong. Thank you very much for people that read my columns.
I was however, touched by one of the people that e-mailed me and I'll put down what they wrote to me (I hope they don't get mad).
Dear Mr. Ho---
I surfed upon your article in "oasis" by way of a webzine list. I read it with interest (and much agreement), and visited your web pages. I must congratulate you on your ingenuity and productivity. You have amassed an amazing body of work, all within your few short years on this earth-and in conjunction with an active church, family and social life. It is something you should be proud of and should continue to be proud of.
If it would be of any interest to you, I would invite you to write something for a webzine which I produce each month. It is a general interest webzine with a slightly liberal bent, but designed for people who like to read and to think. Of late, I have been producing most of it myself (since being released from the hospital-I have cancer). You can take a look and see if it would be of interest to you.
Again, I must say that I believe you are a remarkable young man with a clear vision of who he is and what he wishes to accomplish. I wish you only the best in the coming years, and know you will lead an interesting and productive life.
All I had for a reaction was... WOW. Am I really that useful in life? Am I really actually seen that way by people that I don't know at all? It amazes me to find that strangers are often the most comfortable to talk to and ones that respect you. My friends, even though they do play a major part in my life, I still can't stand their constant dis to me. I thought I'd just like to say that.
Anyway, now, I am just very settled into my life and my surroundings. Nothing negative has happened to me lately and I hope it never will again. Things are rolling along day by day and week by week. The events that happened to me in grade 9 are long distant memories that are covered up by those that I have experienced in the last two years of my life.
The summer camps, I take them as lessons to be learned for everyone. I feel that I did make a difference to the small amount of people that have never met a gay guy before and find out that we are among everyone else.
I saw a movie recently called "School Ties" starring Matt Damon and Ben Affleck. It's a pretty old film but we saw it in school so it makes it ok. Anyway, the movie was about a Jewish student that moved into a new environment to cover up for what had happened before. And what do you know, someone at the school finds out and hell happens. At the end, it teaches a lesson that everyone should learn. This lesson is different in everyone. I saw that society is made up of a stronger minority and a weak majority. It is often the less known that make it and I see the movie as just that. Be who you are, but be careful of the limits.
It may seem that with each column, I run out of ideas but it's all so packed up in my head, I don't know where to begin. However, if I would take one important point out of this whole column, it is that you are more than who you think you are. Though you are only one in 6 billion, the one can save the world. And with enough of "the one"s, the world will change dramatically. Martin Luther King did his thing almost over night, so did Napoleon, and on and on. One can accomplish so much in life.
You are more than what you believe and know that there is always someone looking at you, admiring you, and watching every move you make. Don't let them lose hope in you, it's up to you, and YOU alone. Yes, you may think this is corny, crazy or a total copy of someone else's sayings, but it is true and YOU can make a change.
Just imagine that some day in the future, you can hold hands with who you love and walk down a municipal strip mall or even go home and bring your lover home to spend time with your family. It can happen, it is happening, and it continues with you.
I'm Lincoln Ho.
Thank You and God Bless You All