Jonathan P.

April 2000

Are we addicted to pornography?!

Did I even spell that right? Pornography, gasp, what a subject matter to display in public. Something most of us hold privately to us, while others tend to display it openly like a collection of hub caps. "Come on in Jeff, take a look at these beauties, picked em up off the highway the other day." But what is this allure that we have for pornography? Is it really that addicting?.

In my humble opinion, pornography is extremely addicting. You know who you are out there, downloading pictures by the tens, hundreds, even thousands per day. There's programs that will do it for you, you know. For those hard-core porn traders there's always a private FTP server for you and your friends. For the professional there's auto downloaders and decoders that will even categorize your photo's for you. And lastly for the everyday porn lover, there's just you, your mouse (or joystick whichever you prefer), your browser, and a million and one pictures to choose from. So for all of you out there, from the hard core to the amateur, delete you porn and don't download for two days. Will you go into withdrawal?

Why do we download those pictures anyway? Is it for the sheer fun of masturbating in our office chair, maybe snuggling up with the laptop in our cozy beds (as if the laptop battery ain't hot enough) and do our thing to digital images of lust? Some of us download them at first for the sexual recourse of looking at pictures. It builds images, fantasies inside our minds to look at, to interact in, to dream of long after the picture has faded from our screen. I once knew a friend who downloaded his pornography by the hundreds everyday, struggling to keep them on disks, hidden from his parents and only brought into the light to show his friends; there is no light at night alone in his bedroom except for the cool glow of the screen. I once asked him to delete everything and see how long he could go without downloading more. He wouldn't even consider it. So for reason number one we have sexual, that wonderful tingly feeling deep inside our....body that we love so much.

I have another opinion, of why we download pornography, but it might strike some of you as odd if not downright stupid. My second reason for people downloading pornography, is self esteem and the way they view themselves. There are those out there who think they're so ugly, think they'll never find a boyfriend or love that they must look at pornography to keep alive some fantasy inside their heads (note its all inside their heads) of one day getting there, getting laid, getting all the way to the empth of the oz!

Somewhere deep inside the psyche of some people is a deep yearning for sex. Maybe they don't get out much, maybe their personality sucks or they just haven't found the right person, who knows! But by keeping all that pornography, they then become like a serial killer and their trophies. The porn is used to relive the moment, over and over again, so they can see themselves accepted and wanted and desired over and over.

In relation to all of that, the lust for it, the mental need for it and all, I think pornography is so addicting that to ask someone to delete their porn would be the same as asking them to give me their children! Once, years ago, at the tender age of fourteen I had a porn collection. Yes indeed I admit it, I had over three thousand pictures stored neatly in directories and all. When my hard drive crashed, I cried for nearly an hour. The sheer thought of all those pictures that I may never be able to get again. And it's not just pictures we're addicted to. There's stories, cartoons, sounds, movies even that we must watch and stare and read and listen if we want to survive.

Now on the flip side of all that, the porn for fun and addiction, there is a much darker side. I believe that when you mix the mental dependency of porn with many years of fantasy, I think an urge, a desire to have sex or whatever your mind can conjure up, somewhere deep inside where no one else will see. These are the problems that directly lead to rape, incest, molestation, pedophilia, and all in between. Its a problem that no one can help, not any legislature or government with all the laws in the world could stop. Porn will get distributed, traded, and loathed on even without the Internet. Its all a matter of discipline, access, and a demand for it. But with that demand comes problems and an addiction that is just as if not more addicting that cigarettes. I would not be surprised if in this new century, victims of rape, incest and molestation will not start suing the porn magazines, companies, photographers and models (those willing and unwilling alike), in some kind of retribution or revenge for their pain.

So the next time you look at your porn collection, think who you're enslaved to. Your emotions, the computer itself, or a digitized image of something that you cannot grasp, touch, see, feel, or even begin to imagine. Your delete key is but a few inches away....think about it, for the sake of you and the world of tomorrow.

Jonathan P.


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