April 2000

Mike-is a 16-year-old gay teen from Tampa

Hi Oasis readers, sorry I missed you all last month...

Today... wasn't a very good day for me. I was really depressed. Same old story, I've developed deep feelings for a guy that may or may not be gay. My eyes are drawn upwards at the thought of it. But you're going to listen to me anyway, okay?

Well, let's say his name is "Frank". I've known him since last year. He's always been there, pretty much. It wasn't until this year that I've really developed feelings for him. This year we share a homeroom.

It's great to see him everyday. Wonderful. And every time the bell rings, I swear I can feel my heart sinking. My head is constantly muddled with thoughts of him and I can't even listen to a love song without thinking about him. Today, I was running errands for my mom and I even drove by his house...

Okay, that last part makes the whole thing sound a touch obsessive, but that's the most extreme thing I've done. And let me clarify that I CAN live without him. But I just REALLY REALLY want to live WITH him.

Oh, and here's the REALLY naive part: I think he likes me. ISNT THAT CUTE?! At first, I attributed it to him just playing around... now, I dunno. It just seemed to get so serious. And plus, I do hint a little. I can't resist! But either he's blind to that, or he ignores it, or he sees it and doesn't like it, or he sees it and doesn't know what to do about it. Its SO frustrating.

To top it all off, he has a freaking girlfriend. And I hate her, too!! She's the world's HUGEST snob! I've known her since seventh grade, and she's never said anything nice to me! I even think she was spreading false rumors about me masturbating in class freshman year! Don't look at me, I've never said anything mean to her! And if I did, I didn't MEAN it that way! She's always turning up her nose to me like I'm some kind of idiot or something! GRR! She is NOTHING like Frank! I don't know what they even see in each other! He says "opposites attract" but I've never heard of that actually working.

Sorry about that little outburst, but that's the most frustrating part! The most convincing argument in the case of whether or not Frank is gay. "He has a girlfriend", GOD!

I was reading on an online gay teen magazine, and I read an article that both intrigued and appalled me. An advice column with someone asking for advice on a "questionable crush". Long story short the advisor said they should get drunk and do it. Which I hope no one takes seriously. First of all, if someone who's "pretending" to be straight gets as drunk as that, then they'll hate you in the morning. No good can possibly come from it except that one brief wild ride. I however, want a little more.

Not a day passes that I can't think of Frank. He's like, everything. Everything I want in a person. An artist, good-looking, my age, physical, fun, affectionate, and just... wonderful. We have everything in common and our conversations are some of the greatest I've had. And I know that this wasn't meant to be just a friendship. We don't talk like "friends". It really pushes the border to the point where we're both "safe".

Anyway, please email me at genx105566@yahoo.com

Do NOT feel awkward about anything you send me!

I also have AIM and ICQ, but don't want to publish my screen aliases.

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