May 2000

Hello, out there. I guess it's time I talked about my best friend in the whole world, Mike. Mike is a silly little faggot, who considers himself a huge drama queen, ("But not as big a one as you," he'll say to me when he reads this). This is almost an unsent letter to him/about him; but by publishing it on the web, where I know he'll read it, I'm sending it.

Mike and I share many a common bond. We're both gay, we both live in Boca, we both endure the hardship of friends/family who are religious and hate faggots, and we are both poor. You heard that last one right. Poor. (You didn't think I got paid to write this stuff, did u?)

However, my friend Mike has taken to other means to supplement his income. There are 4 things he's done to gain wealth and pay off some bills.

  1. Stripping-- he worked for a few nights as a stripper at a gay bar in Ft Lauder-dale, letting old men grope him for a buck or two...
  2. A porno-- yep, he made one. It's even available on the Internet....
  3. Jon-- "who's that," u ask. Well, Jon is the asshole "boyfriend" of Mike, but who lives in New York... Mike doesn't really like him; he just uses Jon for his money. Jon has paid for Mike to fly to NYC for a weekend, to go with him to Orlando for a weekend, and Jon is planning a trip for the two of them in June to go to Mexico together...
  4. $150 a night. Yes that means what it says... He charged this radio station manager $150- for a night of sex... Mike's only done that once so far, but he got an email from the guy wanting to do it again...

He doesn't understand why I disapprove so much, and so often when he and I talk, I can't find the right words to say how I feel. Alanis wrote a song called "Joining You" a message to a friend who was contemplating suicide. In the message she explains how similar she and he are and how if all these things were true, then she'd join him in committing suicide... the lyrics read like this:

"If we were our incomes
If we were our obsessions
If we were our afflictions I'd be joining you..."

The important point here, that she's trying to make, and that now I'm trying to make, is that we are NOT those things. If we were, then I'd join you in doing what you do. "If we were our nametags" then Mike, I'd join u in your pursuit of cash, re-gardless of what cost to yourself. "If we were our rejections" "if we were their con-demnations," then yes Mike, I'd join in trading sex for money and wealth. But we're not. And most importantly here, YOU'RE NOT! You are not your income, you are not your nametag. Alanis in another song sang this, (remember?) "that I would be fine even if I went bankrupt... that I would be great if I was no longer queen."

I love Mike like I've loved no one ever before. He and I share a close bond, and we share everything. There are things I've never told him, and things he's never told me, but for the most part we are completely open with each other. And always honest. Mike is the first person with whom I've ever been completely honest about eve-rything. And I know he feels the same about me. (Don't get me wrong, there's no sex, it'd be like incest...)

I guess I just want him to stop traveling down the road he's on. It can't lead to anything good. As someone, somewhere, once said: "Nothing good can come of this." Not for him to stop for me, but for him to stop for himself.

Well now peoples, I don't have a clue about what u all really think about what I've written... maybe you're sick of hearing Alanis references, I understand... its just that in my life right now, her music speaks volumes about what I feel and yet have difficulty expressing as beautifully.... So tell me what u thought, please... I love to here from people and communicate with others like myself... young, disoriented, and a little crazy...

TTFN... ta ta for now...


P.S.: "Don't tell anybody what we do... Just like you, I get lonely too... " -TLC

PPS: I went to Key West for Spring Break and had to tell u all about the cutest guys down there.

Hottie #1 and Hottie #2 both work at the Atlantic Shores Hotel and Pool. Hottie #1 is the "Door Boy" at the pool, Patrick. Uhhh.. so extremely fabulous... Hottie #2 is Jonathan, the "Chair Boy" at the pool. He was so hot, and I spent the days laying in the sun, drooling... he also had a great personality, I know this from striking up a few conversations with him...

Hottie #3 is the doorman at the Copa, Josh. Now for the record, Josh was Aryan adorable, down to the blond hair and tall in height and muscles like a god, but was stuck up and slightly arrogant... he did make great eye candy, though.

And for Hottie #4, that would have to be Steve... a simply stunning Navy-boy, visiting the keys w/ his friend Amanda... he was willing (?) but Amanda was also into him, and I couldn't do that to her... she was way too cool.

I also have to mention my boy down there Dan, who was super cute and a lot of fun... his friend Nicki, the lesbian who thought she'd do better down there if she went str8, was simply fabulous to spend time with, and my friend Mike and I loved spending time w/ all of them. I hope all of my Key West friends are doing well... wherever they are...

****Elliot is a 22 year old college student in Boca Raton, Fl who longs for true love and too know if JC, Justin, Lance, Nick, or Brian from the boy bands are gay or not... Elliot can be emailed at: kalelliot@hotmail.com

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