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Myke

May 2000

I have this song from Rent stuck in my head but since I've never actually SEEN Rent and its not playing anywhere near here (let's see, the closest theater would be… San Francisco, which is only seven billion miles away) I will continue to have this stuck in my head and have people be like 'Hey, I know what you're singing… that's that song… from Rent… you DID see it, didn't you'' while I change the subject to something stupid like 'my lawn' or 'my swimming pool' or 'Republicans.' Aaaaaaah! Republicans! RUN! 'So I run faster…' Tori Amos.

Freaky, I've got like two songs (actually, its like the Rent CD and that one Tori Amos song) stuck in my head and they just don't go. Arrrghhhh. It's kinda like when you're trying to sing something and then Christina Moore or Britney Aguilera or whatever comes blaring on the radio with something like 'I'm a ditzy bitch, oh yes, I am a ditzy bitch, I am the premier ditzy bitch,' except this is a totally non-euphoric (Christ I'm becoming a valley girl… or boy) state.

Y'know that song from Rent like 'La Vie Boheme' or something? Yeah (like you care, but) I CAN SING THE ENTIRE THING! I AM GOD! It's so random though it's like 'to days of inspiration, playin hooky making something out of nothing, the need to express, to communicate, to going against the grain, going insane, going mad, to loving tension, no pension, to more than one dimension, to starving for attention… blah blah blah (fast forward)… ANARCHY! revolution jousters screaming for solutions fighting changes risking danger make it known and make it clear to faggots, lezzies, dykes, cross-dressers too, to me, to me, to me, to you and you and you, you, and you.

Goddammit, it's way too catchy. I will continue to have that stuck in my head and pounding somewhere between my left brain and my ear for the rest of this weekend. The Tori Amos song is coming back… noooooo!!! I can't understand half the things she says anyway, not so much in ideas or anything, but because it comes out sounding like 'Musfljlkd!!!! Sdinsemdici!!!!!!'

I am on a mission to freak the school out *straps on combat boots and marches out* on free-dress day (we have a uniform, okay? But every other wednesday we get to ditch it and wear whatever we want) I wore entirely black. Ha. People approached my friends and asked why I was wearing all black, as opposed to asking me, God, probably fearful that they might INCUR THE WRATH OF…GOD!!! *thunder crashes, birds fly from trees outside* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!

And then yesterday I made a sign first period that said 'Lou Bega is an anti-feminist freak,' which then summarily got torn up by a couple-a sophomores (figures) right after third period. I quote, 'Hey man, Lou Bega's my fuckin' idol!' I was attacked by some girl who was like 'Lou Bega is so great! He treats women like the best things ever!' so I was just like 'Yeah, treats you like things,' and then she like whatever, stopped, and just went away. Okay, why the fuck am I campaigning for women's rights? I don't know why. I mean, women DO deserve equal rights, but I'm gay, and if I'm campaigning against women (some women… i.e. Barbie doll submissive bitches that go to my school) then what the hell am I doing? I dunno. Lou Bega sucks! Anti-feminists suck! C'mon women, liberate! Let's burn our bras! Okay that was too far. *Susan B. Anthony rises from her grave, walks bulkily towards my house with large sledgehammer*

I know this article should probably be about gay issues, but hey, I have nothing to say. I am at peace with myself and the world around me. Well not really but if I tell myself that I am I can continue keeping up my facade of fortress-ness. MAKING UP WORDS IS FUN! Pooky, schlepschlem, snork, blork, snarf! God, what was I gonna say' I've totally lost it. *insane laugh goes here* My day has been so boring (like you care) I have done absolutely nothing. I went out to get some Chinese takeaway (yum) and I bought a phone card. Whew, productivitity, slow down Mike, you might… trip? (for lack of a better word). God I had all these great ideas and they've all disappeared. Poof. Gone. (British accent) Oh, woe is me!

Oh woe is me!

I've paid the price!

I should've listened to advice!

My mum was right one hundred fold!

I've caught Tom's horrid runny cold!

Sorry you had to read that. In any case, I don't know what more to say I think I've hit a block, a writer's block, a rock, a sock, a dock, a mock, a lock, a fock…' Rhyming is fun. Yeah, I'm say great, maybe I'll become a rapper *Asian rap… shudder* Yo yo yo, tofu! Sweet and sour pork!

Actually I hate rap. I'm too opinionated. Someday somebody's gonna shoot me for my opinions. Oh god this is not good. We were talking about foreshadowing in English cos/cuz we're reading Romeo and Juliet. I'm Romeo, oh yes, I'm so romantic. (Breathy new age voice) I enjoy candlelight dinners, long romantic walks on the beach, and poetry. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Right. Whatever.

During Romeo and Juliet I did like the balcony scene as Romeo and then the ending scene where they both die as Romeo, and then I was the Nurse in between… oh God classic. I played a crappy balcony Romeo, but I clinched that ending scene. I'll get the Oscar… or is it called something else? And where the hell did that name come from anyway' Somehow, when I think of little naked gold statuettes, I don't think of 'Oscar.' For me, that little statuette has always looked so pissed, like 'Yeah, I'm so great, WHERE THE FUCK IS MY EVIAN'' I dunno, must be the crossed arms. Oh yeah-when I killed myself (as Romeo… did I really have to clarify that') I accidentally fell towards the dead Paris instead of sleeping Juliet. Classic.

And during the 'Nurse scenes,' I was telling all these dirty puns, and the girl who was playing Juliet was like trying to speak in this sophisticated voice. God. But anyway, Singapore is thinking of opening a Speaker's Corner here, where you can speak your mind. Sort of. They make you THINK that. You need a permit and a license to speak there, and then the government has to proofread your speech. So if you hear anything about a Speaker's Corner in your local newspaper (god that sounds stupid) then it's BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT!! *Singaporean guards kick open my door, and shoot me up* (gurgling blood) It is too late for me, I must… depart. Goodbye, my love (dies).

Sincerely, God

Myke

mike2784@yahoo.com


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