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Zach

May 2000

Hey, I don’t really have a lot to talk about. My life this month has about 10 times as much stress in it as last month. Instead of talking about many things that I could and boring you, I leave you with a poem.

Paradox
by Zach

It kills the horrors of my ghosts,
But alas, there is not
Has never been,
And will never be.

It burns the essence of my soul,
But alas, it is now,
Has always been,
And forever will be.
To the end.

Not depression,
Not anger,
Not hate,
Nor jealousy,

But yes,
Perhaps jealousy,
Nostalgia,
The growing pains,
Of an infant mind,

When most never grow,
How do you suppose that I would restrain myself,
With great pains,
Sacrifice,
Self-denial,

Conceited,
No,
How can I be?
Self-centered,
Of course,
How could I be not?

To live with the agony of defeat,
To live with the joy of victory,
There is no difference,
Only in name.
Only an illusion.
Not a blessing,
Nor a curse.
Ignorance.

To pacify,
To comfort,
To ease your pain,
To slow the pace,
The coming of the end,

To shade your eyes,
From the horrors,
The pain,
The suffering,
The guilt,
The loss.

For how could you not?
How could you face the demons,
And still keep your sanity?
You cannot,
Therefore you do not.

Simple,
Logical,
Concise,
Clear,

But I do.

So how therefore,
Can I keep my sanity?
I can,
Therefore I do.

Why even face the demons?
I must,
For someone must,
And you do not,
Therefore I do.

Not in name,
Only in reality,
A blessing
A curse,

Simple,
Logical,
Concise,
Clear?

Of course not.
But that is why I am myself,
And you are yourself.

We are not the same,
Not in head,
Nor spirit,
Nor body,
So much as we could never calculate the distance,

You are ignorant,
But at times have knowledge,
It is inevitable, however,
That you will fall again,
Only to rise again,
To repeat the cycle,

I am not ignorant,
I always know,
It is impossible,
For me to fall from my Heavens,
Or rise from my Hell.

I saw life,
And denounced it.

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I am 14 years of age and live in the southwest. If you have questions, comments, or just about anything that you could put in an e-mail and want to send me, my e-mail is zach9567@hotmail.com.

Zach


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