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The Wanderer

June 2000

Hello, friends.

Due to a lack of time and motivation, I have been neglecting Oasis by not submitting anything. To my 3 self-proclaimed "fans," I'm sorry.

What is there for me to say?

My parents have shown once again, without fail, how intolerant they can be. Rarely do they have anything to say to me, personally, as I don't tend to voice my opinions when around them for fear of being ostracized and attacked like a proverbial Giles Corey.

They don't realize, it seems, that when they speak about anyone in a harsh, bigoted manner, that that affects me. Their words only make me feel more alienated and alone.

But what can I tell them? If I say that what they say about others bothers me, I get yelled at and my words are never taken seriously. At the risk of sounding like some character out of a bad romance novel, I have a strong fear that if they ever find out about my "secret," I'll be out of their lives forever.

God knows that that's what they've threatened one of my siblings with. And as strange as it seems to sound to a lot of people, that's not what I want.

This sibling of mine is not gay but s/he has done something to disappoint both my mother and father: s/he has fallen in love with someone who my parents disapprove of. They can't, for one moment, be happy for my sibling, for whatever reason. No, instead, they yell at her/him for growing up and getting on with his/her life! This sibling, by the way, is over 21-certainly old enough to know what s/he wants.

I can't help but to feel trapped. Imprisoned, if you will. Not physically, but by emotional bars set up by these two people who I love dearly. What cold hearts force their children to harbor such pain and fear?

I know I must sound melodramatic right now. I am only speaking truth, but believe me, it would take a lot more than this to tear down the walls that I have erected.

I will survive. But unlike most people, I will make it in spite of my parents, not because of them.

At this very moment, however, I don't know what path to take and where any path will bring me. Time will tell.

Farewell, my friends. I hope that life is kind to all of you.

*Note: I will not disclose the gender of my sibling for reasons of privacy.

The Wanderer

the_wandering_one@bigfoot.com

(age 18 [yep, my birthday was a couple of months ago], female, bisexual, entry....5, is it?)


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