July 2000

"The Merry Month of May"
O’ the merry month of May,
What a marvelous time to be gay
We can laugh and dance and play
In the Merry Month of May…

May kinda wants to make ya jump up and burst into song, doesn’t it? If I had to pick a favorite month of the year, it’d be September (cuz I was born then). And if I picked a runner-up, it’d be January (cuz I love new beginnings… I always tend to quit jobs in January, go fig.). But, if you made me pick a third favorite month, then it would definitely, without a doubt, be May. Well, at least for this year.

May started out with a bang. Literally. On the second day of May, my 1986 Chevy, which had been passed down thru my family since its creation, decided to die. Now, like most things in my life, it didn’t go quietly. Nope. It decided to smoke and crackle and breakdown in the wonderful intersection of Glades and Lyons. Luckily, a passing motorist lent me her cellular so I could call my boss (more on him later), for whom I was out picking up dinner. I rolled my car to the gas station on the corner and left it there until I had AAA pick it up later that night after my shift. Ugh.

So now for the "merry" part. I mean, after that start-up (or breakdown) it could only get better, right? And boy did it! On the fifth, I got a new car!!! Whoo-hooh!!!! A 2000 Dodge Neon, in Patriot Blue. I named him "Patriot," cuz of the color, and the fact that New England is my favorite football team. I’m off of the whole "car is a lady" kick, figuring I’d name it like a racehorse (traditionally masculine or gender-neutral names) and that I would rather spend the next few years inside of a man over a woman.

Well the new car came with AC, and a tape player (2 things the Chevy lacked). My sister (remember her?) won a free portable CD player as part of a promotion at the retail store she manages. Because she loves me so, and because of the fact that she already had one, she gave it to me. So I spent $25 on adapters, and saved tons on having to buy one from Best Buy or Circuit City.

May gets better still. Remember before (like 2 paragraphs or so) when I said I had a tendency to quit jobs in January? Well, this January I did it again!! Nothing like starting ’00 with a new job! So I left the comfy confines of the local bookstore where I had slaved away for 3 years and went out to make my fortune in the world. Yeah, right. OK, I wasn’t making that much at the bookstore, but my new job (I’m a project manager at a branch of a corporation) doesn’t pay that much more… So in the middle of May, like the second week or so, the owner of the bookstore (let’s just call him "H.") called me up. "H." offered me more money and a promotion, to come back to the bookstore. I decided to give my current employer (the guy from paragraph two, who we’ll hereafter consider as "T.") the opportunity to counter. And counter he did… more money, a promotion, advancement in the company within 6 months, and plenty of paid overtime!!! How could I resist? Quite easily. "H." called back to up the offer, he too would make me an hourly employee, and thus pay me overtime! In the end, I decided that evolution (of my life, not of some ecological nature) demanded that I not return to the bookstore. I took the pay and promotion and stayed put. And I’m happy here. Well relatively speaking. Happier than I was at the bookstore.

Add it all up: new car, promotion, the feeling that I was wanted!!! What more could a silly faggot want? Exactly! SEX! And sex was had by all. I met Joe, a psychopath, with whom I had terrific sex ( I top, he bottoms, it was a great fit!). But after he met my best friend, he started actively pursuing him! I warned Mike that Joe was nothing but trouble, but did Mike listen? Nope. He let Joe "orally pleasure" him and wound up with Joe stalking him, calling him at home and work at all hours, just showing up at home or work whenever, with no notice whatsoever. I warned Mike, but did Mike listen? Nope! And he got a great big "I told you so!" from me. Joe went away after Mike threatened police action, but at least I had some great sex.

The great sex didn’t stop with Joe. I met "Mustang" in a gay bar in Ft. Lauderdale and we started making out on the dance floor. We then retired to Mike’s VW Beetle for some back seat oral excitement. Mustang and I met a few more times and then just recently parted ways... oh well, life goes on.

I guess I’d like to make you think that May was all merriment and joy, but it wasn’t. Remember last month’s depressing column was actually written in May. Everyday I wake up more and more to the fact that I am gay, and everyday I come to terms a little more with what that truly entails. And the pain’s still there, and time doesn’t seem to lessen it, and yet we endure.

"Come, my friends,
’Tis not too late to seek a newer world.
Push off, and sitting well in order smite
The sounding furrows; for my purpose holds
To sail beyond the sunset, and the baths
Of all the western stars, until I die.
It may be that the gulfs will wash us down:
It may be we shall touch the Happy Isles,
And see the great Achilles, whom we knew.
Tho’ much is taken, much abides; and tho’
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven; that which we are, we are;
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield."
-Tennyson’s Ulysses

Write if you feel so inclined. I’ll be here, I promise.

Later all,


PS: I discovered this wonderful quote on the web, and had to share it with you all….

"My mother said to me, "If you become a soldier, you'll be a general; if you become a monk, you'll end up as the pope." Instead, I became a painter, and wound up Picasso." ----Pablo Picasso

Elliot, 22, works and plays in Boca Raton, Florida. Actually, much of his playing is done in the way gay-friendlier locale of Fort Lauderdale, Florida. He can be reached, via the wonderful tool that is the Internet, at the electronic address of kalelliot@hotmail.com. His current pipedream is to open a hip, happening gay nightclub in Boca Raton… any backers? Oooh, I can see the made-for-TV-movie now, "The Gay-Bar Cometh."

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