This is a continuation of a story already in progress...
Perfect. Absolutely perfect. This was the state I felt as I walked out the door to my car. I looked back a few times towards the school, scolding myself for not waiting for Kyle, but I figured he could find his own way to my car. I was in the senior parking lot, which was right outside the back of the school, and I assumed he knew I parked there.
I felt like I was about to break out laughing. I did break out smiling, oddly and stupidly. Anyone who had every been in love knew what this was, a kind of spontaneous feeling, like you can tackle the world, like you could scream joyfully a name and the entire universe would hear. I unlocked my car and got in. After turning it on, I lowered the top and put down the windows. Then I put in some music, and waited.
A minute or so passed, and I saw my guy come through the doors. He was walking with two friends I've seen him with before, and I suddenly wanted to shake hands with them. How noble of them to stick to Kyle, even though the safe thing to do was to not "associate" with him, like others had done. Then I wondered for a moment where I stood with that, and discovered no one had really even seen us acting like friends. Was I just as bad as those kids who ignore or hurt him? No, no. I won't think of it. I'm picking him up, very publicly, after school, anyway.
"Hey Jack." Kyle said and he threw his bag in the back. He was beaming. I realized it had been a week since we'd really been normal together, which was an eternity away from Kyle. Yeah, I had fallen again, just as before, but now with a little more insight.
"Hi." I said, and smiled. He opened the door and got in, and I wanted to kiss him so bad. I knew it would have to wait, though, so I put the mustang in reverse and backed out. I waved to a few friends as we left the parking lot.
I pushed the gas and gave the car a jolt, and we sped off, screeching around the corner. Kyle laughed sweet and heavenly, and I smiled and pushed the pedal harder. I headed for the country.
We hit the back roads and twisted and turned throughout the wooded and field area. The wind tickled my nose, blew through my hair and whizzed around the car. A piece of paper jumped up from the backseat and flew around and out the car. Kyle laughed again and then looked at me, smiling. I turned to look at him, and he took my free hand. I leaned back and rotated my thumb over the skin of his hand. I slowed down, no need to rush. We went under trees, and the shadows from the sun striped and decorated us and the car. The light dimmed, and I turned onto an even more wooded road. It turned to a gravel road, and I lead back to a small clearing where kids would camp out and drink and sometimes do other stuff teenagers were known to do.
I knew nobody would come around here, at least not during the day. I pulled around the clearing, and stopped, putting the car in park and looking over at Kyle. We just stared for a moment, both of us just taking in each other's features, lost in ourselves. As if we were seeing each other for the first time, I was especially looking at the new bleach blond highlights in Kyle's short hair, they brought out the rest of his face and eyes so well. Even the shape of his head was cute, his ears small but slightly protruding from his head, and out to the sides. Not far enough to look stupid, but just a little, enough to look cute.
"Why don't we sit in the back, and uh, I dunno, we can talk and stuff. You can tell me how you've been doing, and stuff." I said, and we climbed over the seats to the backseat. We held hands again, and I was trying to think of something to say. I couldn't, though, it's as if I had a million words to pass through my mouth, but they were lost somewhere between my mind and my output. I bit my lip and looked at him.
"Uhm, so, what's up?" was all I could mutter. Kyle just looked at me, smiling, and communicating without words. He was massaging my hand and just smiling. Then, he leaned over, and I knew he didn't really want to talk at the moment. So I complied, very willingly, and we kissed. I draped my arm around him and pulled him closer, held onto his other arm and turned towards him. We never broke the kiss, breathing hard and desperate through our noses. When it did break, it was the sloppiest sound I had ever heard in my life. He started laughing and that got me started. Then there was another silence, just staring at each other. Finally, we committed to an activity, Kyle practically threw himself at me and jumped into my arms. We reclined in my back seat and began to kiss passionately. Eyes closed, the only sensation was the weight of Kyle on top of me, and our tongues dancing to music that wasn't playable in any stereo. Kyle rested his hands on my chest and pushed against me, kissing me harder. It was as if a million frustrations were being exposed and destroyed with this kiss. The most exhilarating feeling came over me and I began to forget about time, meaning, day, and night. The only thoughts in my head were Kyle and myself, and sometimes those even seemed to blend into one. My heart was trying to leap out of my chest, all the while Kyle's wet and tender lips rubbing and crashing into mine, his slender tongue exploring my mouth, and mine fighting to explore his. At one point we stopped, suddenly, yet both of us aware of exactly when to stop. He lifted up slightly, licked his lips, and pierced me with those blue eyes. His eyes were watery, and I could see myself in them. No camera made could capture even a tenth of the beauty and warmth I saw in that face, nothing could imitate or recreate the pure innocence and perfection I saw. I felt like crying. Before, I couldn't comprehend the concept of living forever, of the eternity after life, because I thought I would get bored or tired and simply want to cease to exist. I thought there was nothing I could do forever, whether it be a million things or one thing. Now, however, I found something.
I could stare into Kyle's eyes for all of eternity, and never once tire, never once look away, never even once blink. That would be my heaven, and it's what I saw, all in Kyle's eyes. All in one's eyes. All in one.
Kyle broke my eternity, however, when he laid his head on my chest, his hair touching my chin. I didn't mind, though. He could do whatever he wanted. I stared at the blue sky, watching the clouds move slowly across. One of them covered the sun and caused darkening of the sky, and a chill swept over me, one of both physical cold and, I believe I felt it, one of a spiritual or insightful cold. As if this was a warning, or a sign, as if this chill wasn't just a shiver and over. Was it a warning, maybe? Was there a dark period coming in my life, or in Kyle's? I only thought this for a moment, and when the sun came back out I forgot it entirely.
We just laid together lazily in the sun for hours. Feeling Kyle on me, his body breathing, living, on me, was almost magical. I think he fell asleep, I wasn't able to check, though, I didn't want to risk waking him if he was. I just stared at the sky, not really even thinking, just enjoying the moment. I was simply glad to have him back in my life, to hold him again. This was all that mattered.
continue to Chapter 19