August 2000

Wow, I can't believe I'm sitting here writing my second column, but it feels great knowing that I'm contributing to something special! Originally Justin and I were going to do joint columns, or at least he'd do one and I'd do the next but things didn't work out that way, and since he thinks I'm the better writer I guess I'll be the one doing it.

I've gotten a decent amount of mail about my debut column, and with almost every letter one common theme seems to be present: How does it feel to know you're gay at your age?

Perfect column theme!

In my debut column I accidentally forgot to add that I'm thirteen and will be an eighth grader in a few months, but somehow people figured out that I'm a young teen.. How?

I don't know, but they were right. Anyway, to get back to the point of this column, just how does it feel to know you're gay, especially at my age?

Sometimes it just plain sucks. Like when I run into a girl from school (my school's almost exactly half girls and half boys by the way) and she wants to talk with me. I mean I don't think girls are that interesting to begin with, and the fact that I'm not attracted to them at all doesn't help either. So I just have to stand there like a total dork and carry on a conversation filled with lots of stupid stuff I don't care about, just so I make a good impression. I guess when you're gay you see things in a different way, like how girls try to flirt with you and act all sexy to try to get your attention. It's so stupid that to me it's funny! I mean what's actually going through their heads... "Oh look at me, I don't have boobs yet but I'll just sit here and wiggle around and all the boys will notice me!" Yuck!

Other times being gay is cool, like when Justin and I are together and everything just feels right between us, and when that happens I think it's probably the same as it would be if I were hetero and with a girl. Well, maybe not EXACTLY the same but who knows? I'm glad in a way that I had the opportunity to have at least one experience with a girl because at least I can say "Yeah I tried that and I didn't like it" instead of never knowing. Like when you eat something just to try it and don't like it you're not in a hurry to eat it again, are you?

Girls are just that.

Something I don't want to try again.



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