Ed Marx

August 2000

I Should Be Clinically Blind

This is the second article I have written for Oasis and judging by the feedback from last month's article, I feel like I have established a reputation to live up to. Well here goes my reputation.

I masturbate a lot. I mean a lot. More than anyone else I know. I do it at the most inappropriate times and at the most inappropriate places.

I must admit though, I am very good. I am indiscreet about it. I have done it at work, in the car, at school, at university, in numerous public toilets, at the movies, in the pool - everywhere. In fact, I don't think there's a place I have wanted to masturbate where I haven't!

I work in a photo lab. This means I develop a lot of photos and see a lot of people. I have seen girls inside out, I have seen animals inside out, I have seen girls and animals inside and out. If, in my photo developing routine, I find any pictures of shirtless or nude men that I find particularly attractive, I take my own copies home with me. I have a collection of about 8. So I'm not really a collector, but I have favourites.

I choose to masturbate over anything else. If I am hungry and horny, I masturbate then eat. If I have to go to work and I'm horny, I masturbate then show up late for work. Once, on my way to university, I jacked off, then left the house and missed the train. I went home, checked my email, stopped by a porn site, then jacked off, missed the next train. I missed a few lectures but I chose to masturbate.

If I start, I can't stop. This is my weakness. I get angry if I can't finish what I've started.

I don't believe in multiple orgasms. I think women just make it up to seem superior to men in some way. It's penis envy. How does a woman distinguish between one orgasm and another? I find that an orgasm is such a high, that there is an up and a down and everything in between is a numb rush of blurred vision and sweaty pulsations. Any women reading this article, admit the truth.

I find that if I don't masturbate for a long time (for me, a long time is about a week) then the orgasm is much more powerful. This type of orgasm is worth the wait, but of course, I can't hold myself back.

If I were a third person reading this article, I would be masturbating right about now.

I felt I need to address the issue of masturbation because nobody else really does. I can't help it if I masturbate a lot, I'm at my sexual peak! Nobody should feel guilty or embarrassed by it. I'm not afraid to talk about it, in fact I feel a little turned on by telling you about my habits.

I better end the article here.....I have some "business" to attend to.



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