The movie was pretty funny, although it was a little hard to laugh.
Kyle and I sat on the smaller couch, a love seat (no pun intended), while Jake sat in the lazy-boy armchair beside it. I had been expecting a night of Kyle laying with me, snuggling close on my chest, something like that. I had been looking forward to it, actually. No such luck, of course. Now, it wasn't like Kyle was flirting with Jake or anything, he really only talked, and even then it was just a few words, you know, "how are things going," and "how's school." Stuff my relatives would ask me. Except one question my relatives always asked me of course, "do you have a girlfriend?", but, I suppose, that wouldn't have been appropriate, or something. Kyle was still pretty cold to me, and I felt a little down because of it. Maybe just disappointed, after all, I loved the feeling of Kyle's head on me, especially the smell of his hair.
After the movie Kyle got up to shut it off, and Jake followed him. He told him he needed to talk to him, then something I couldn't understand. I got up, and Kyle turned towards me. He had the look of a guilty child just before they were about to tell their parents something they did.
"Jack, uh, can I talk to you outside?" he said.
"Yeah, sure." I walked out and Kyle followed. I stopped at the door and he walked past me and opened it, motioning for me to follow.
"What's goin on?" I asked.
"Listen, I know this sounds bad, but Jake says he needs to talk to me, alone, and he doesn't seem right tonight, there's something up with him."
"Right. So where's he staying tonight, anyway?"
"Over here, I guess. I don't think he came with his family, Jack. I know there's no one else here he knows, and there's no way he can get a hotel..."
"So let me get this straight, you're kicking me out of your house..."
"I'm not kicking you out, you know that." Kyle said, with a more stern voice.
"Alright, getting me out of your house so you can talk with your old boyfriend, the first one you ever fell for, as you told me, and then he's staying over night? What do you expect me to think, Kyle? Look at it for a second."
"I know. You're just going to have to trust me. I love you, Jack, I'm not going to do anything with Jake. I've fallen for you now, he's just an old friend. All that's over." He said, looking away after the last word.
"This was all just a couple of months ago. A couple of months. I can't believe you were over him that quick." I said.
"Don't you believe I love you?" He said. After all the thinking I'd done, I realized that while I was in love with Kyle, I saw how quickly I doubted that when we were apart. I didn't now, just looking at him blew all doubts away, but I couldn't help but remember how I had given up (sort of) so quickly. I knew the same could've been true for Kyle and Jake, Kyle probably did get over Jake quickly after he found me, but if he did do that, how quickly could he get over me? Yeah, I suppose I did doubt his love a little, but of course I wasn't going to say that. It would hurt Kyle the same as I did before, and he didn't deserve that, I may doubt him, but I still want to believe he loves me, and that I love him.
"....Yeah." I said.
"Well, then, trust me. I'll have him gone by tomorrow, if he can, and we'll do something like this again soon."
"That bothered me, too, why were you so cold tonight?" I asked.
"Think, Jack, if he doesn't know, or hasn't figured it out, then suddenly cuddling up next to you would've been a harsh way to find out. I don't want to hurt him, he's not really doing anything wrong." Kyle looked back towards the window and door, and then said: "Here." He came over to me real quick, embraced me with my arms still down at my side, closed his eyes, and kissed me as harder more fierce than he ever had before. He let off quickly, though, and I was left dumbfounded. It was a killer to be kissed by him any less than a few minutes at least.
"Don't think I've been the only one let down tonight." He said and smiled, then slowly walked backwards to the door. He waved and went in. I was still standing there, with my mouth open, of course.
* * *
I left and went out driving. Nothing really to do now. It was a little after ten, so there weren't many people out cruising. I stopped in a parking lot when I saw Scott's car. He was sitting there smoking a cigarette when I pulled up next to him. His eyebrows went up immediately.
"Hey, what's up? Though you were stuck with Kyle tonight."
"Stuck, yeah, I watched a movie. Dude, get this, his friend from vacation is over right now."
"Yeah, so?" Scott said, blowing out a white puff.
"His friend, you know, the one he got caught with."
"No shit? Man, and you left?"
"Yeah, I don't think his friend knows about us, he doesn't have anywhere to stay, and he said he had to talk to Kyle alone. Kyle seemed awkward about it too, and I trust him... I think." I said. "Gimme a cig, will ya?"
"Yeah, sure. So what're you up to now?"
"She's over at her friends house tonight. She was going to break her plans when she saw I couldn't get a hold of you, but I didn't let her. Ryan and Ray are gone, and I can't really find anybody else. Wanna go out of town?"
"Yeah, sure. Where to?" I said. Scott and I used to just go out of town when there was nothing to do. We'd always go somewhere close we'd never been before, but after awhile there wasn't too many places left.
"Let's just go to up north." He said.
"Alright, lemme close up my car."
I put up my top, and locked up my car. I didn't really like leaving it there, but I took the face to my stereo system and did it anyway. Inside Scott's car, we left the lot and I lit up. He put on some new band, Perfect Circle, and we headed north. I thought a little about Kyle and Jake, I wondered what they were doing.
Maybe they were just talking, or even fighting, if Kyle told him about me. Maybe Jake got mad and left, just ran out the door, forever gone from either of our lives. Or maybe Jake took it well, and they were talking or laughing or something.
Or maybe they were fucking. No, no, I wasn't going to think of that. Kyle and I had never even done anything close to it, and I don't think he'd choose to start right now. I still couldn't get the image of Kyle and Jake naked and kissing out of my head. It was getting on my nerves, I wanted to call or to go over there. I even sorta wanted to spy. The worst thing, however, was that it made me want Kyle, more than ever. Physically and mentally. But mostly physically.
We ended up in a nearby town at another coffee shop. We went over things again, like at lunch, only this time we talked more about friends and plans after school and such. I still hadn't really looked into college, while Scott already had things narrowed to a few colleges. He was always a lot more together with things like that, though, while I was a procrastinator. Talking about college and stuff made me think about what was I going to do with Kyle. I didn't think a long distance relationship was going to work out, but then again, I couldn't picture breaking up with him being any easier. I asked Scott what he was going to do.
"Haven't thought about it, not going to. School comes first, daddy says, and that's the law around my house. I don't plan on talking about it with Meg either, not at least until a lot later. Worthless worrying and fights, you know?" He said, while eating some cream filled doughnut-like thing.
"Yeah, I guess." I couldn't believe how suddenly cold that sort of was, but I understood. In Scott's house, especially because of his older brother being so smart, school and things always came first. It sounded like a good idea, so I tried to forget my own worrying the rest of the night. I still couldn't keep Jake off my mind, though, forgetting him and Kyle are alone in an empty house is wishful thinking.
We got home around one-thirty in the morning. It was a little late, but my curfew was two and Scott really didn't have one on a Saturday night. Just as long as he came home before dawn or called. Most other nights it was ten or midnight.
Scott dropped me off at me car and said something about getting a hold of me tomorrow. It was tomorrow, technically. I got in my car and left, heading towards home. At the last minute, though, I turned and went towards Kyle's house. It was a little obsessive, perhaps, but who was gonna know? I drove by, slowed down, and passed it. No lights on, and his parents still weren't home. Oh, man. What were they doing with the lights out? ALONE, with the lights out? Sleeping? Maybe. I guess it was possible they were tired, or Jake left. I doubt he left, though. They could also be under the covers...
No, I'm not going to think about that.
Continue to Chapter 23