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Elliot

September 2000

"What is truth?"

-Pilate to Christ, in the Gospels

No one is really sure what Pilate meant when he asked Christ what truth was. The Gospels do not reveal any tone or other vocal details that would shed light on Pilate's motives for asking.

Did he ask a serious question of Christ? Did Pilate really want to know?

Or did he scream at Christ? Was he fed up with the verbal games Christ was playing?

Or did he mock Christ? Did Pilate sneer as he asked the King of the Jews what his version of "Truth" was?

No one is really sure. The Bible sure does not say. There are no stage notes there. No direction to the actors on how to play the part.

Andrew Lloyd Webber had Pilate sing it in Jesus Christ Superstar (adding extra words to the dialogue of the Gospels). "But what is truth? Is truth unchanging law? We both have truths; are mine the same as yours?"

Ooookay. So what was that all about? I know you are asking yourselves that question. Was Elliot possessed by a gay preacher / drama queen?

Nope.

Not at all.

Just something I had to get off my chest I guess. I seem to be questioning what I consider true and valid more and more lately. I seem to be rethinking what I put worth and value in also. That's kinda what last month's column was really about. It was a sort of break down of what I held to be real and true in my life. <ital>A collapse of reality manifesting itself in words.<ital> That stuff about my sister and Mike was, of course, all true; it just seemed easier to write about it in an absurd setting.

I use MS Word to type this. My little Einstein bounces around the screen as I type, giving strange, quizzical looks to my writings, and mocking me (silently of course) when I misspell a word or commit grammatical suicide. His hair poofs up sometimes, and sometimes he blinks. It is really quite distracting to me as I try to write this. If he was real I'd of shot him by now.

Sometimes it's easy to take a break from reality. That's probably why I go to see so many movies... Well anyways, this has been a schizophrenic column, because my life is kinda schizo and psychotic all at the same time...

Maybe someday I'll have more answers. Maybe someday I'll know what is real. Maybe someday I'll know what I want. Maybe someday life will be better.

Einstein just waved at me. Maybe someday I'll learn how to turn him off. Dad's been gone for years. Matt and Jerami are gone too. And now Mike. Maybe someday I'll find a man who can love me; and not just the other way around. Then again, maybe someday I'll learn how to love myself.

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Elliot, 23 on September 8th, tragically still lives in Boca Raton, FL. He's moving on October 7th a whole 3 miles away, but alas, still in Boca Raton. You can email his sorry ass at kalelliot@hotmail.com


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