November 2000

My So Called Feelings...

I was IM'ing a good friend of mine (I thought I was at least, but that's a long story) the other night. He asked me something about why I didn't have a boyfriend. So, I began to tell him my reasons.

My first reason was because I just can't seem to find any decent gay people here. I know there must be some, but I think they are all in the closet and not coming out anytime soon. I guess that's somewhat hypocritical of me to say because I, for the most part, am in the closet.

The second reason I gave was because I am way too picky. I think my 'standards' are way too high. I just don't want to waste time with someone who is not exactly what I want. From my point of view that is not a good thing. I feel like maybe I am passing up someone slightly flawed merely because they don't exactly fit my 'standards'.

That second reason leads me into my third reason. I am somewhat superficial. Well, probably a little more then somewhat. I just seem to judge people too fast based solely on looks and first impressions. It's not like I refuse to associate with people on that basis, I just wouldn't really consider them boyfriend material.

Well, don't they say that admitting your faults is the first step to fixing them? Okay, I made that up, but it sounds right. I really hate those things about myself, but I seem to have a very hard time changing them. Does anyone have any hints that might help me? Is there anyone out there who has overcome their faults?

Collecting for the Boy Scouts

For all interested parties, I am starting a collection for the Boy Scouts. I am starting a collection so they can buy tissues to wipe away the tears. The tears they are crying as a result of many cities across the Nation that have pulled there public funding. For those cities who are finally making some sort of stand for gays and lesbians. They are finally bring some light on our situation

Now, the bad part. With this good, comes much evil. This is one of those one step forward, and two steps back situations. Yes they are doing what they can to try to stop discrimination against us, but it is coming at a high cost. A cost not only to the Boy Scouts, but to us. By withholding funds from an organization that generally does good, it makes us look like the big bad wolf. This situation makes us look like we are fighting the Boy Scouts, when what we are really just fighting is discrimination.

When I was young, I was heavily involved in a branch of the Boy Scouts. I learned a helluva lot from it, and I am very grateful for those experiences. But I must say that I am in full support of the decisions of those cities. I am hoping that the Boy Scouts will finally see that the 21st Century is no place for discrimination.

Deep Thoughts....by Jack Handy

Has anyone ever got in one of those moods where you just feel like going somewhere and thinking?? I know sometimes I like to just drive around town aimlessly and think. Well, the other night I had that urge so I got in my car and drove. I ended up going to the beach and just sitting on the damp sand under the full moon and watching the waves crash against the shore. The moonlight gave the waves an odd glow, and I could make out by the way the waves were forming that there was a sand bar right off the shore. Anyway I just sat and thought.

I thought about my great grandfather who just died recently, as well as my other grandparents. I was wondering if maybe I should have told him about my secret before he died. I know it would have been awkward, but maybe I should have stopped the lying. Then I started to think about my other grandparents, and if I should tell them. It is easier for them not to know, but it is kind of hard on me. I really don't think I will. Has anyone out there told your grandparents? If so, how did they react? Did they understand? Do they hate you now? Let me know.

Til next time....

Email me at tyler4us@hotmail.com I love to here from everyone out there. Keep the emails coming.


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