January 2001

"How to say goodbye when everything's normal, when you haven't given me a reason." This is how Ricky Martin's song "Como Decirte Adios" starts. And it's certainly difficult to say goodbye, and this is what my ex-boyfriend tried to tell me a couple of weeks ago. I didn't hear him, I didn't want to hear him say goodbye to me. It happened too fast, and I didn't see this coming up, I didn't want to. But it had to happen; he wasn't clear about his sexuality and a couple of other things, so I had to move aside for him to understand himself. Anything else would confuse us all, and that's definitely not good. I understand that, and it's why despite it all, it was really hard at first, I understood that was the best thing for us. He needs space and I need someone to say, "I love you" feeling it for real.

We both gave each other our hearts for three months and it was a time I will never regret, first of all, because it was a wonderful time that we had together. And second, because I learned a lot about being together with a special someone. And third I learned not to go too fast in a developing relationship that above all, needs time to develop. That's the reason he gave me back my heart, and I humbly gave his. Because if this didn't happened then, it would have serious consequences later, and things would turn out uglier.

Because he knew when to finish things in a good manner, I really know he is a great person, which deserves the best in his life regardless of any decisions he makes. No matter where life take him, either to me or anyone else in this world, he deserves the best, because he is mature enough to know what to do. I would trust him with my life with no concern at all. Thank you my ex-boyfriend for being a great person, truthful to me and above all to yourself.



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