March 2001

I've recently come to terms with my sexuality and I'm realizing everything that comes with being gay. Though I'm lucky to live in a rather open-minded region I'm still dealing with homophobia. While I'm only out to a few people it seems the topic of gays/lesbians comes up often and I've found it's rarely completely positive. Just today I sat in class listening to an argument over homosexuality. One of my classmates who I greatly respect added in his thoughts by saying " I only hate gays because God hates gays," it ended in an argument that slowly left me alone on my side. A few days ago a guy asked my and my friends "What would you do if a dyke bitch hit on you?" this came after a string of horrible comments about gays.

I had to walk away to keep from falling apart. I've tried so hard to make people think, I've written articles in the newspaper and I'm happy to argue my views to anyone who will listen. The thing is sometimes you're stuck and there is no way to change someone's mind. I'm already learning that sometimes you just have to suck it up and stay together.

Another thing I've learned is that you can find ways to have everything you want even though sometimes your reality becomes shattered. I've wanted children since I can remember and kids have become a lot of my life through baby-sitting and volunteering. When I finally admitted to myself that I was gay part of my heart seemed to sink, I had never thought about who I'd be with or how it would end up, but in my future I had always seen myself with children. The past few days I've managed to work my way through many sites online and find information of foster care and adoption.

It's becoming much easier for single people and gay and lesbian couples to adopt because people are finally understanding the greater meaning of family. Aside from reassuring myself the possibility for adoption was there, I've changed my career goal. I've wanted to be a child psychologist, but now I want to get my degree in psychology but also run a foster/group home. Once you think about your life you can find ways to achieve your dreams. I'm finally accepting myself because I've realized that nothing has changed. The way you go about your dreams may change but there will always be a way. In the long run you'll be happier accepting yourself and being true to yourself because you'll get your dreams and make it easier for others to accept you as well!



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