March 2001

Well I finally did it. I came out. It ended it not being has dramatic as maybe I thought it was going to be. I'm kinda glad about that. I've sorta had my fill in life of being the center of attention for the 'wrong' reason. I'm not out to everyone I know just to two people among my immediate circle of friends. I actually only told one person, Mark.

I wrote him a letter and then carried it around for a week waiting for the right moment to give it to him. Finally he and his housemates were throwing a party at his house and I figured that this would be the perfect time to give it to him. Unfortunately by the time I got there he was quite drunk and definitely not in the frame of mind to discuss such a serious issue. So I gave him the letter and told him that he didn't have to read it right away. He said he would put it under his pillow and read it in the morning.

The following evening I received a text message from him expressing his support. When I replied to his message however, there was someone with him (Tom) who read the message. It's not too bad though. I was a bit taken aback when Tom greeted me the next day with a smile. He'd always seemed somewhat indifferent. Anyway it's always good to have a friend. And finally I had real person who I could confide in. Not that I don't appreciate all the virtual confidants I have. But I think you guys can understand the need to have a person to talk to who isn't tens of thousands of miles away.

I'm still haven't figured out how to tell everyone else yet. I mean the thing is that I don't want some great big moment where I tell everyone. I'd prefer to just get on with it and let them figure it out for themselves. Although they'd probably be ok with it they would ask a lot questions that I just don't want to have to answer. I can still remember my secondary school days when people were asking me all these stupid questions about black people simply because I talked differently from them. It was my first good, hard look at human ignorance, an experience I am in no hurry to repeat.

Well I'll just have to figure something out. I do need to tell at least one more person though as when we went to see his friends from the LGBT he introduced me as a heterosexual

That's so wrong!


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