March 2001

Life sucks. Cliché, boring, expected, yes I know, but hell I'm overburdened by my own self. Except not really. Don't worry I'll make sense soon.

Anyways as I was saying, life sucks; or to be more accurate mine does. The benefit of now knowing this is that I know the Internet is the supplier of this "suckage". Of the few people online I've gotten close to, that had some geographic closeness to me, they have all either a) disappeared, or b) turned out to be <shivers>. Since I'm pretty sure the following have disappeared I don't mind using their names. Jayson was a bit of a distance but still fun, even though I have no idea where the hell he went. John was a big fucking tease, for more reasons than one, and I'm still bitter, even though I know if he comes back I'll probably give in. Stephen was just a fat (extremely) out liar, and appeared to actually be 30 in a bad way. And the amazing disaster about all of this is: I never stopped being single. So I'm a bitter bi bastard (hey alliteration!). Speaking of which, I hold a grudge too, so Nick from NY, fuck you. So curse the net and south Florida since both are full of liars and neither offer me a genuine. Ok, end of Bitch Phase #1.

Just for update purposes, and to take up space, I may as well fill you in on school. We just entered a new semester here and it's unproportionally academic. I have block scheduling, which means I get 4 classes each semester, out of two. I still stare at the same boys and avoid eye contact, and I've found some new ones too. But it's just for my viewing pleasure. Kinda like a museum, if I cross the laser light a blasting alarm goes off, alerting all onlookers and making me flee in terror. I am however out to even more people. Maybe soon it'll be everyone, within in the school. I say that because for the Literary Fair I entered 3 poems (which is fruity in itself), 2 were free verse, 1 a rhyme. 1 free verse was about being bi or gay or a minority of any type, and not inconspicuously either. So hopefully I win with it and then be out the easy way. I've kinda given up on the boyfriend thing for two reasons: one, I can't find one, two, it kinda annoys me to go into chats and watch people chat about theirs'. Girlfriends are still an option, but hey I want some boys first. Greedy, lustful, shallow, I know I know but <sticks my tongue out>.

I should write more so when I reread this in March I'm not disappointed but all significance has flown from my broken twig nest of a head. Ooh hot boys.

Hmm closing notes...ok, first sorry to some dedicated readers who expected a kinda FLAIR when I wrote again, this was really just something to clear my mind and get reactions for now. Second, Ty come back! Third, read Jason Hoffman's article when you see it because it kicks ass. Fourth, if in a bad mood picture Eminem and Justin Timberlake having sex because it's irony is too funny. Fifth, hey, I'm on fire. Ow. Stop that. Woah, didn't know I could turn that color.

Licky licky :)



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