April 2001

The Fight

How many of you out there have faced bigotry? Scorn? Fear? Outright hostility? (slaps forehead) Duh! Each and every one of us has faced at the very least once. Most likely all. How did you face what was put before you? How did you deal with it? You all know how I've dealt with it. Just nodded and smiled or just smiled?

I haven't really had to face anything along the line of open hostility for one reason. I am a martial artist, and most everyone in my school knows it. I received word today that a boy in my school wanted to fight me. Was going to tomorrow. Do you know why? Because of a rumor that I liked him. I have someone. What would I need him for? That's just it. It doesn't matter to some people. All they know is that a gay guy likes them and that his friends are pushing him to fight a fight that he doesn't want in order to save face.

Why would he need to save face in the first place? What did he do wrong? Nothing. But that's not the point, or so they say. They tease him and make fun of him calling him my butt buddy, my bitch, my little whore. Why? Fear.

Fear leads to scorn, scorn leads to bigotry, and bigotry leads to (lol not the dark side) hostility or physical abuse. Let me guess what you are saying. "Get on with it Yoda." am I right? Well anyway back to what I was saying. All of these things are products of the general populace's view of us. In case you didn't know it, and if you don't what rock have you been living under? people have some downright horrifying stereotypes of the GLB population. So how do you counter these stereotypes? You fight.

Not technically physical fighting, but political fighting and social fighting. There are more ways to fight than with your fists. You can push for a GSA or you can talk to anyone who will listen. Surround yourself with support and comfort and they can take the pain away for the few who will try to torture you. I have fought through the second way. I have surrounded myself with friends. I am also prepared to fight with my fists if necessary, and most know it. If you act like you're keen for a fight and would welcome it it makes your adversaries wary. It gives them pause, gives them a worry.

The best way to get out of a fight is to give them too much to think about at one time and a worry they fear just might be true. If you can talk fast enough you won't ever have a need to fight unless you want to. If anybody has noticed these things as I have then you are smarter than most people. Now wait. Don't get all pissy on me. I'm not saying that everyone else is stupid and me and the few who have noticed are smart.

I'm saying we have a deeper view of events than most people. That is something not very many people have. I'm not bragging on myself just stating the facts as not only I see them but on what countless others have told me about myself. They say I am more mature than my age dictates. Most people in the net won't believe that I'm just 17 for the fact that I sound and act more mature than I am.

When you're gay and grow up in a hostile "hickish" community you have to learn really fast or you will die. I've not learned what I have by choice, but by necessity. From the will to live. So if the will to live is greater than the fear of other people...then have a good life. Because you'll only have one if your strong enough to make it. Remember: the fight isn't always bad. It isn't always a burden. As long as you have friends to share it with.

Jay Adams


P.S.- If anyone wants advice of any sort just give me an e-mail. I'm always ready to help. And yes I know what I'm doing. I do it a lot for everyone. Even adults seek my counsel.

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