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Phill

May 2001

Salutations!! I'm Phill and I'm 17 years old. I'm a junior at a high school in Fairfax County, VA which is in the greater Washington D.C. Area. At school I pretty much occupy my time playing tuba in Band and Orchestra, and on my free time I pretty much chill, sing to show tunes, go online, do homework, all that normal teenage stuff. Ok, this is sounding a little too much like a personal. I've been reading Oasis for almost two years, but just now I decided I would write a column for better or for worse.

Over the first weekend of spring break I went to visit my sister in Boston. She's at Wellesley College, which is an all girls school (no she isn't a lesbian), so that was an exciting experience. To go to the bathroom I had to knock and ask if anyone was in there, then switch the sign from women to men. When I was taking a shower some girl walked in on me, but I don't think she saw anything since there were curtains. Yeah, I really like Boston, it's a cool city. Basically I went there to visit her and look at colleges. I hate this whole college thing, it scares the shit out of me. But I looked at Tufts University, Providence College, Boston College, and Boston University. Providence College has this weird graveyard in the middle of it, and it's run by the Dominican order of priests or something. The only college I think I might apply to is BU, so if you have any insider information about BU sucking then I need to know.

I think being gay is a royal pain in the ass. I mean there's all the homophobia and stuff which isn't fun, but what I hate the most is meeting people. Anytime I meet someone I think to myself "Is this person possible boyfriend material or just friends or neither." I CAN'T STAND IT!!! I guess I kind of want a boyfriend, or not even a boyfriend, just someone to date to try it out with, but I can't find anyone that's willing. Everyone is either sex crazy, or closeted, or just some other thing. It doesn't help that I'm not the ideal in terms of looks either. I don't know, I just thought being gay would be so good because I didn't fit in with any of the other "groups" and I figured the reason why is cause I was gay. So much for that. I think it's really messed up that some people who are confused about their sexuality actually WANT to be gay, for the same exact reasons. High School and society in general has such a lack of community and so many people are marginalized that they figure being gay will lead to friendship and all that good stuff, or at least that's what I thought. So much for that, the gay community can be a real bitch sometimes. Oh well.

Pearl Jam is my favorite band ever!!!! I went to their concert in August and it was totally awesome. But the best thing is that a lot of their songs have some gay themes in them, although I'm pretty sure they aren't implied. For example, "In Hiding" (I don't if songs are in quotes or italics or what not) goes like "I swallowed my words to keep from lying. I swallowed my face just to keep from biting. I swallowed my breath and went deep I was diving, I surfaced and all of my being was enlightened." Or "It's Okay" (which you have to get one of their concert CDs to hear) "It's Okay...you don't have to run and hide away. It's okay...I love you anyways." Or some of their songs are just loud so I scream my head off at those homophobes.

Okay, I have a question for all you folks out there. I really want to know what everyone's take on virginity is. I mean, being queer, virginity isn't really as much defined as it is for straights. So what do you think losing your virginity is, for girls or guys? Do you think virginity is important? I just want to know what everyone thinks about virginity, cause I think everyone has a lot of varying points of view and it would be interesting to hear about it.

Well, that pretty much sums up my article. My birthday is the same day as Youth Pride Day in DC, so that should be cool. Too bad I have solo and ensemble the same day so I have to get up early for that. Hopefully I'll find some time to write another article next month, May is always the most horrible month. Later.

The Queer Struggling Vegetarian Atheist,

Phill

Okottakaba@aol.com


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