June 2001

Well, I'm actually writing a second article. Go me!! Yeah, most of you probably meant to click on someone else's column and are thinking "You wrote a first article? Oh yeah, that was the one that totally sucked!" But oh well, I'm going to persevere even if it would probably be for the common good if I didn't.

Soooo, I read Craig's article last week. Yeah, I didn't like some of the things he said, so I'm going to comment. I'm an agnostic atheist-I don't think you could prove there is or isn't a God, but I don't think there is one. I don't try to antagonize anyone, as long as people leave me alone they can do whatever they want as far as I care. Anyway, back to the point, Craig said in his article that;

1. Evolution is crap-we should have witnessed some if it actually happened.

2. There isn't any logical reason for not believing in God.

3. Belief in God has made the world a beautiful place.

If you really want to get the whole gist go back and read his article, I suggest you do and formulate your own opinions.

1. Did anyone pay attention in Biology class? These people who are denouncing evolution don't even know what it's about because they are to busy giving a hissy fit. The world is approximately 6 billion years old (I asked my sister, she's in biology, so if I'm wrong blame her). Humans have recorded history for about 15,000 years I think (it's been a while, I'm probably WAY off, and I apologize). That is a really short time on earth. It's probably the equivalent of a millisecond in a day. Yeah, I'm too lazy to do the math, but anyways. Evolution takes place over a long period of time, really long. You can't witness evolution happening, it's not like those morph things in Michael Jackson's Black and White video (where did that come from?). Besides, there is evidence of evolution everywhere, in that humans have an appendix and a tailbone. I don't know, I think it makes sense. And some biblical scholars say that if you loosely interpret that seven days the world was created it fits. So you don't even have to be sacrilegious!!!

2. I don't believe in God, cause I don't see any evidence of a God. I just don't have that feeling or faith that there is a higher power and that God is protecting me. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe you're wrong, we are probably all wrong, but who care anyway? We all end up dead.

3. Say WHAT???!!! Okay, there has been some great things coming from religion. Music, Art, Books, Architecture; religion surely does inspire some people. But religion has inspired some BAD things too. The Spanish inquisition, the crusades, the ongoing terrorization in Israel, the Salem witch trials, all those straight conversion clinics where you can 'treated'. All in the name of religion. So religion hasn't made the world a big happy place-everyone's in wars and dying. Who knows, maybe the terrorists will get a nuke and bomb Israel-wouldn't that be ironic?

Enough about religion. Take it or leave it. Make your own views and stick to 'em, that's what I'm saying. So, you know who really pisses me off, George W. Bush-President of the United States of America. Okay, so here's my take on his whole life. He was born into his rich ass family and went to his rich ass prep school, which I don't care about-what else are rich ass people supposed to do? Then he got into Yale since his rich senator Father went there, which kind of sucks. I mean, they talk about Affirmative Action blocking people from going to school, how about all this elitist crap. Then he parties hard in his frat, smoking weed, drinking, all that good stuff. He sure has those Christian values down pat!! Then, because his father's rich and he doesn't want to go to Vietnam, he gets into the Texas National Guard.

Okay, they knocked on Clinton for draft dodging, but he gets away with that bullshit? That pisses me off. At least Gore went to Nam, and he got more shit for smoking pot than Shrub. If you go to Nam, you're allowed to smoke the pot, that's what I say. Then he inherits his father's oil company or something (I'm not THAT interested in him) and owns the Texas rangers and blah. Oh yeah, then he gets caught for DUI when he's 30 something. I know everybody else in the country doesn't care, but it kind of pisses me off. Maybe I paid a little too much attention in Driver's Ed, but Drinking and Driving is BAD. It shows an incredible lack of responsibility. How about if he killed someone and it showed up in one of those commercials, would that be okay? I got more shit when my brakes failed.

So yeah, now he's president and advocating all this Educational stuff, and he can't even talk. Now you're thinking "Phill, you can't talk either!" Yeah, I know. But I'm not the president. See, I think if you are not intellectually or emotionally capable of running the US, then you shouldn't run for president. I would never run for president, because I would suck at it. I'm serving my country!! This little bastard did it because he could and he wanted to get laid (or at least that's what I think. I mean, with all that stuff with Clinton, being President seems almost the same as being a pimp). So yeah. Shrub annoys me. I hope he isn't re-elected. Then those republicans are going to name some shit about him, just like Reagan.

Here in DC they Republicans in the Gov. want to withhold money from the Metro (our subway system) cause on the maps it doesn't say Ronald Reagan National Airport, just National Airport. Changing it would cost money. Talk about a waste of the taxpayer's money!!!

You know what, people are getting really boring with their insults these days. All I here is 'Gay' and 'Fag' over and over and over. Ugh, they are so unoriginal!! They can't even use the more colorful terms like 'Fudge Packer' and 'Carpet Muncher'. Yeah, so I've decided that whenever anyone says "That's so Gay" I'm going to start saying things are "Sooo Christian", since most of the people I know who do it are. I'm not going to do this whole "How would you feel?" stuff, it's not working. And if they don't stop I'm just going to keep doing it to piss them off. When you think about it there are some parallels. I mean, they think that being Gay is a choice, and being Christian surely is one. Both are formulated at an early age. Okay, I would make a joke now, but I can't think of any. E-mail me if you can!! I'll start one of those dumb chain e-mails. You are going to die if you don't read this!!! And then have a bunch of Christian-Gay jokes. Ugh, I'm horrible.

So yeah, as of thus far only two people responded to my virginity question (Thanks Tommy and Jo!!). I know my article was bad, but I really wanted to know. So Tommy thinks that people are virgins because they can't get laid, which I'm sure is true in some cases. Jo thinks that you lose your virginity when you go as far as you are willing to with either sex. I think that's a good definition. I was reading this book called Losing It and it had accounts of people losing their virginity. It's good; there were accounts of two gay guys, one lesbian, and even the straight guy that was screwing with his buddies since he couldn't get some women booty. I recommend it. It even gets hot in some places!!

My article is getting really long, but oh well. So, speaking of sex, do you think Necrophiliacs are a myth or are there actual people who like to get it on with dead people? Are they organized? I would type it into a web browser, but I'm a little freaked out myself. Do you think you could request in your will that your body be donated to some Necrophiliac organization, you know, saying "Have fun." I don't know, I'm not sure I want to know. So yeah, this prompts my question for y'all. Say this girl/guy that you have a crush on and you are at this party. Then you go out for a walk and they pass out cause they were drinking too much or something. I don't know if passing out is really serious, but it isn't in this scenario. You are all alone. Would you do anything with them? Kiss them, check under the hood-nothing that constitutes date rape, but you know. So I was just wondering. E-mail me if you feel inclined.

Well, that's my article. I have been incapacitated from going to both the pride festival and the gay prom in the past four weeks. I think someone's trying to tell me something. Good luck on final exams everyone!! Later.Phill is a 17 year old junior attending a Fairfax County Public School in VA; a hop, skip, and a jump away from DC. If you read Eric Marcus' book entitled Is it a choice? you can even read about how in Fairfax they get to watch this movie called "What if I'm gay?" in Family Life education. He uses punctuation in inappropriate places, plays tuba, isn't fluent in Japanese, and is a lot more shy than appears so in his article. If you have a comment or would like to answer any of his questions he would appreciate a word or two sent at Okottakaba@aol.com.

©1995-2001 Oasis Magazine. All Rights Reserved.