Rising Asylum

June 2001

Civil War in the Sexes

I've been thinking a lot about sexuality recently. Partially due to a recent drift on memory lane of high school. (I had a gay male friend, and I knew a lesbian that went to my school... and my school made their lives hell, hence my keeping quiet about myself until I was away from it.) And partially due to some thought provoking posts on a message board that I frequent. It seems to me as if the battle of the sexes has been replaced by a break out of civil wars within each sex and sexuality in general. Allow me to elaborate....

Guys enjoy the idea of lesbians, but mostly thanks to the hope of having an experience with some; the whole two females fantasy. (This however wouldn't ever happen for them if they were in pursuit of lesbians because they are lesbians!) Some guys already figured out how lesbians work and then give up their tolerance of them, develop as closed a mind to them as they have to gay men, and move on to searching out all the bi females they can find. (Some girls pretend to be bi to get guys attracted to them, hence the trendiness of bisexuality in regards to females.)

Girls like gay guys because they adore the stereotypical gay males' femininity, fashion sense, their ability to dance, and the idea that most of them know the pains involved with a female's vanity. (Make yourself pretty, perky, and dress in the tightest clothes possible...)

Not to mention the dieting it takes to achieve getting into those clothes, and yes they like to wear glitter too. (Remember I stated that this was their stereotypical sense of males, I don't agree with stereotypes therefore I do not agree with the views of the females I just mentioned.) Some females also have this little misconception in their heads that allows them to feel that they can still win over a gay male, as if their sexuality was their misconception, or due to the idea that they just "hadn't met the right women yet." (They hit the same road block that males do with lesbians, they are attracted to their own sex, unattainable goal!) However, they don't give up on gay males for companionship. Maybe it's because females have a harder time dropping a challenge or keeping themselves away from things which will result in failure at the end. Or maybe it's because they just found out that their best female friend is supposedly bi and they need a new best friend.

Now we move to females disliking bi females.

First of all, there's the whole issue of being somehow revolted by the idea of girl on girl contact because of insecurities. (No female likes to face insecurities, it's like a self-destruct button.)

Second of all, some of those same females have at one point or another said that they were bi to gain the attention of a straight male, (if not in real life, then online). Knowing an actual bi female is a yet another threat to them. Because, if there are real ones out there, then they might have to actually act on their claim to keep the attention of the guy they lured in with the bi line. They definitely seem to not be intent on following through with the whole scenario.

Third of all, the word that they said they are bi might fall onto the ears of an actual bi female, or worse - a lesbian who will in turn pursue them and cause them even more trouble. And, there are always the unfounded stereotypes about bi females to keep straight ones as far away from them as possible. Such as: you can never trust them-they are as good as knowing Jekyl and Hyde; they are always involved with a member of each sex and always in a three or more-some, and so on and so forth.

Lesbians don't approve of bi females and gay men don't approve of bi males for illogical reasons as well. The biggest misconception of which is the idea that they are just confused and in some sort of a phase. They figure that they are just indecisive and unpredictable, two big turn-offs relationship wise. They also buy into a lot of the stereotypical nonsense.

I've also noticed that males are starting to focus on vanity while females are growing more comfortable with their natural selves. We've reversed somehow. Straight males try to find all the reasons they can to back their non-acceptance of gay males, but they are now major targets in the fashion industry. And females try to find reasons to back their non-acceptance of lesbians, but they tend to copy their ideas as well. And I already made my points in regards to defeating reasoning against bisexuals, so I won't bother to reiterate.

Isn't drama hell?

Well, anywhere you go, you are going to run into it. It was in Texas with me and it's even worse up here in South Bend, in regards to sexuality. I would say that this is one of the most drama-craving capitals of the US. I'm hoping that this new group that I've involved myself with will help me to re-instill some sort of faith that there are more real people among us.

I'm craving people who are more like me, not basing life off of stereotypical views or the need for drama, open-minded and true to their word, and looking for others to interact with, not manipulate.

I'd also like to commend all the real people for sticking to who they are and not getting caught up in the hard-to-escape grasp of society as a whole. I just wish I could find some of you.

Until then I'll just be comfortably numb.

"Hello, hello, hello, is there anybody out there? Just nod if you can hear me,"-Pink Floyd

-Rising Asylum

Rising Asylum is an ambisexual 21-year-old female whom just needed to get some thoughts off her mind. She doesn't have a website, but can be found hanging out online at RisingAsylum@aol.com, or on the message board she frequents, at http://www.ourfreerein.com

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