July 2001

Hello family and all gay-friendly readers,

I'm about to embark on a journey home (Massachusetts) this weekend for two and a half weeks. My sister will be graduating the beginning of June and there are several barbeques and somewhat of a family reunion which I will be attending. I know for a fact I will have such an amazing time, but a tiny little bit of doubt is lingering right below the positive thoughts in my head.

Here's the deal...I moved away from home about three years ago (1998) and the last time I visited was sometime in February of 1999. Which basically means it's been a hell of a long time since I've been there. When I moved away from home and visited in February I was assumed by my family to be straight. I came out of the closet very slowly throughout the year of 2000 at 23, which worked for the best in my particular situation. My parents, brother and sister and a vast majority of the family took it very well with love and open arms. There are also a few members of my very large family that want no part of homosexuality, or have religious beliefs that are against it. This is what worries me about my journey home.

My family is all about love and respect which is why I know everything will be alright, BUT...this is a huge step for me, especially since I am the type of person who over-analyzes everything in life. I know that all my life a vast majority of my family has assumed I was gay, now it's so real and up-close. I finally admitted it, I finally feel like a whole person. Will I be able to make it through the whole 2 and a half weeks without trying to analyze everyone's thoughts and actions towards me? Will the beliefs and opinions of particular members of my family be throw out during discussion?

I'll be arriving in Massachusetts on Saturday May 26th with a very positive attitude and open-mind. All I can be is ME, I refuse to hold my feelings or thoughts back because others beliefs or crude opinions. What about my beliefs?, my opinion? Wish me the best boys and girls, I'll let you know what happens when I get back. Until then Much Love, Lots of Peace, and Tons and tons of Happiness



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