July 2001

It's been a month since school let out but I'm writing this in June, so I'm still hinged on the event. For a couple reasons. This is going to be the first summer I have a steady job and a reassuring paycheck every other Friday, assuming I won't blow the money entirely on CDs and books. I think it's a much better way to spend the summer, as opposed to just sitting in air-conditioning and burning time until sleep falls.

In other semi-good news, I'll get to experiment with a keyboard and instruments til my heart's content. But that was the good. It's always easier to dispense the good first. Shifts the focus with a smoother transition. The more saddening aspect is the abandonment of my "cohorts" as I nerdly/jokingly called them. Seniors of course come and go, but still a few were mine. At least from my outlook.

The only other thing is that the people I expected to last are leaving too. Which, maybe by now predictably, pisses me off. This was the whole reason I started keeping only a close circle of friends. Now, the two people I called my closest are alienated from me and the most significant new friend I made only a year ago is moving to central Florida. It was bad enough being the only person I knew that hadn't grown up to have the customary childhood friends, now I have to keep losing them it seems. This was the whole reason I gave up on god in the first place. And as unappreciative as this may seem, Internet buds don't make it any better. I still love you all though.

And just for explanation's sake, don't take my moods too seriously. I'm just like this now because I've been very confused lately, and I really dislike not being able to understand a situation I'm in. Just for explanation's sake.

Gonna go now for 3 reasons: 1) I'm on borrowed time 2) You've probably already gone and 3) my keyboard is seriously pissing me off. Have fun m'dears and enjoy the Roman candles. Moo-haha,



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